As Long As You Live

Chapter 4- Time

I lost count of time. I wondered how long I'd been since I found out about my family. Just like that, I continued to weep.

Later, I rushed downstairs to see what the place looked like. In spite of the fact that I had just lost my family I was stubborn enough to let myself feel alive even when I wasn't anymore.
"What is this place?" I say to myself except John hears it.
"Did you know your family is richer than everybody thinks?"he asks but I didn't think it was a question- it was a statement. "Your family owns this mansion. They say that your ancestors left it behind for the eldest son in the family which was obviously your Dad." He speaks historically.
"How do you know so much about my family?" I ask.
"I don't. Google does." He blurts.
"Am I that famous?" I mourn.
"Nah, I don't think so."he replies. "Maybe you should go wash your face."
I nodd and head for the bathroom. I searched for the toilets everywhere until I know I can't walk anymore.
"Where's the bathroom?" I ask John when returning back to the living room.
"Go left and then right...Ohh and, there's a love heart on the door." He says being busy with some paperwork.
I reach the bathroom which looks as old as my great grandfather. I look at myself in the blurry mirror. Despite the mirror being blurry, I can see my red eyes and the swollen skin under them. I look around the bathroom and miss my own. That's what brakes into hundreds of pieces all over again. I miss home. I miss life, but there's no way back to my old life. No way I could be the same. No way i could have fun. And no way i could ever live.

I sit on my bed with the TV on. It's Teen Wolf which I'm watching. I have the TV on but all I'm thinking about is the corpses. My little brother who was just 13 was now deceased before growing old enough, I'll never watch my sister's recommended list of movies and TV shows because she won't be there to, and I will never be able to do a good hairstyle because Mom won't be there to help me out. I think until my eyes shut down like a sun setting above a horizon.
My dreams haunt me everyday with happy and sad memories. I spend the entire day on my bed sobbing and not talking to anybody. My life seemed to end just like my family's did. Yet, I was forced to live when I didn't want to. I wish suicide was an option, but the security cameras were kept right above my head so I don't kill myself even though I wanted to so badly.
"Hey!" Amanda says cheerfully as she walks in my room with some letters.
"How are you doing?" Her tone suddenly changes after looking at my pale face and red as blood eyes.
"Fine." I mourn.
"I think I know what to do, to get you out of this bed. Well...you're sixteen and your a softmore in high school back in Canada. That means you should go to high school." She says with a light smile on her face.
"What?" I say ask if I don't understand. "But I'm supposed to go to collage at the age of sixteen in England."
"Yes but this is going to be you last year in high school in terms of countries." She says.
"I can't be bothered."
"Well, you'll have to. You can't just lay on this bed for your entire life, like you have for the past 3 days, just saying." She says with the same bossy accent I had when talking to her earlier.
"I'll think about it." I say just so I can end this conversation.
I think about high school back in Pickering. I think about what my friends would be thinking and how they would react to me coming back home. I daydream all day long until I decided I will go to school for Amanda's sake. I didn't want to feel the way I did nor did I want to be in this house but maybe Amanda's little plan would take me out of misery.
           Later in yhe afternoon, I search Amanda's phone number through this number diary she gave me with a cell phone. Her name has a star next to it to make it bold and I type it into the phone.
The phone takes a while before it's picked up.
"Hello? Is anything wrong? Do you want me to come home?" She asks all of a sudden.
"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to tell you that I'm ready to start high school or whatever. Just so you don't drive me sick." I explain.
"Wonderful!" She cheers.
"Ok bye." I say miserably. Not looking forward to school.

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