Cherish || grayson dolan

fifty seven

Two days have passed since Julia told me she knows. She went to social media, said a bunch of lies about me, and told everyone what Grayson had did. She even did worse then she said she would because we lied to her. She made up lies about Ethan and Emercyn which we knew would happen. I can't believe we let it get this far.

Grayson never called his manager about the restraining order. He went to social media, posted a video on all of his accounts to explain what really happened and how the lies Julia has told aren't true. A lot of people don't know who to believe because Grayson wasn't honest from the start. Some of them were upset that Grayson didn't say something to them when it all started.

I'm more upset with myself that I didn't push Grayson harder to be honest with them. I just was afraid of pushing him farther away from me than Julia had already pulled him away. Grayson wont speak to us. He's excluded himself from almost everyone. Theres 48 hours left before Dolan Twin Tuesday and they haven't filmed a video. Ethan is starting to get pissed.

Ethan's yelled at him. Shouted at him. Told him he knows his brother is stronger than this. Grayson wouldn't give up on YouTube and his fans, but it has felt like he has given up on us.

He declines my calls. Reads my texts and wont respond. It hurts because I need closure. I need to know if we are okay. Julia has backed off since she exposed Grayson's secret and I assume thats why he hasn't took charge in that restraining order but I still hate not knowing how Grayson feels.

Emercyn and Ethan have tried to get me to hang out with them, but I just can't. I haven't left my room but to get food or pee. I haven't felt like talking to anyone at all.

"Hayden can I come in?" I hear Emercyn's soft voice from outside of my room.

"No."

"Please talk to me. You need to talk to someone." She begs.

"No."

"Hayden stop being stubborn. I know you're hurt and upset with Grayson, but please let me in. Talk to me." She says. I roll my eyes and stand up, opening my bedroom door.

She looks up at me and gasp. I give her a look because she is looking at me like I'm medusa.

"Oh honey you look awful. We have to fix this." She says shaking her head, pulling me into my room and setting me on my bed. She just went all mother on me and I'm not sure how i feel about it.

"At least you've showered." She laughs to herself. I just shrug, remaining almost emotionless.

She goes into my closet and grabs my out some clothes. Just a simple pair of shorts and a maroon halter top. She forces me to change before her hands practically attack my hair. I sit there wanting to pull away but I know she's just trying to help.

When she's finished she grabs my make up and doesn't put anything on me but councilor to cover up my under eye bags and powder to set it. She places me in front of my mirror and smiles.

"Cute." She says and claps her hands together. She put my hair into boxer braids and I actually really liked it.

"Now, you are going to go over to the Dolan's house and talk to Grayson." She says.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. You want closure? Then you need to get your ass over there and take it. Yell at him , scream at him, or something to get him to realize you are hurting to and that you can't wait around for someone who's just pushing you away and ignoring you. If that's how he is going to treat you, you need better." She tells me, grabbing my arm and pulling my out of my room.

"I don't want better. I want Grayson." I explain. She stops me and gives me a look.

"You DESERVE better. And you know that." She says. I know she's right, but I love Grayson. "I know you love him but this is unhealthy for you. He's pushing you away when you need him and he needs you. It's hurting you." She adds. I nod my head because it makes sense.

She grabs my hand in hers and we walk outside and walk to the Dolan's house because it's super nice out today. It's incredibly warm and I guess I hadn't noticed due to being stuck in my room all day.

When we reach their house I want to chicken out. To run away like I always do but I don't. Emercyn just walks right on in and we pass Lisa, saying hello and asking her how she is. She explains that Grayson is in his room and Ethan is outside so Emercyn and I part.

I walk up the stairs and reach his door. I hesitate before I place my hand on it and twist it. I was expecting it to be locked but it wasn't. When I walk in, Grayson is on his bed, facing the wall.

"ETHAN CAN YOU NOT HEAR? I SAID I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU." He harshly shouts as he turns around. When he see's me his eyes go wide.

I actually feel hurt hearing him say that. He looks guilty and I can feel tears form in my eyes.

"Hayden I'm-"

"Sorry. You're always sorry." I whisper, wiping my tears to keep
me from looking like a baby.

"I can explain." He says.

"Well before you do that, let me say something." I say as he opens his mouth again before shutting it.

"If you don't want to see me,
fine. If you don't want to talk to me or hear from me, fine. But I wont sit here and wait for you to talk to me and to stop pushing me away. I am your girlfriend and I don't deserve to be ignored because you are upset. So am I because now lies about me are all around the internet, Grayson. And because of all this my boyfriend is pushing me away and ignoring me." I say to him. He drops his head and lets out a sigh because he knows I'm right.

"I love you so much Grayson but I need closure on if you still want this. Want me. And if you can't give me that, then I will leave and this will be the end. I deserve at least that." I whisper the last part and he looks up at me.

He doesn't say anything but close his eyes and let a tear fall down his cheek. It takes everything in me not to wipe it myself or to hug him, but he's done it to himself.

"You're right. You do deserve that and you deserve much more. You deserve better. I love you so much, Hayden. But I just don't want to talk to anyone right now or for awhile. I don't want you to leave me and I want you so much. So please just give me some time." He says. I shake my head looking away from him.

"Grayson I can't sit here and wait for when you wont ignore me. Wait for when you will actually talk to me and see me. I get you are upset and in a bad place, but so am I. I can't do this." I tell him. When he hears me say that he looks at me.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be in a relationship where I don't even know where we stand or what we are. I love you but this has to end for both our sakes." I tell him.

All he does is stare at me. He doesn't say a word and that's when I realize that is what he wants. Right then and there I realize that that is why he has pushed me away and ignored me because he wasn't sure if this is what he wanted anymore after everything.
I walk out of the room and he doesn't even follow me or beg for me back.

I walk down their stairs and walk home with out Emercyn. When I get home, my Aunt Macy is coming down the stairs. When she see's me crying, she pulls me into a tight hug.

I have to remind myself that this for the best. This is what is best for me.