Can't we go back ?

Chapter 14

Im a person, not a weapon

"MR. Ryder, we asking you to work for us as a PERSON not a weapon !"
"But you are asking me to work for you and kill targets and get paid doing so but having to deal with the thought I might kill innocent people and have their blood on my hands !"
"But sir we are only asking you to work for the country and protect us at all cost!"

Now you might be wondering what is going on, I'm currently being held in a interrogation room, hand cuffed to the table, against my will, and being asked to join the London, special ops. They are asking me to be a trained weapon who is able to kill any target when notified, and once the target is eliminated they will notify the next target when they either feel like it or when war is apron us.
"How long will I be able to have alone time with my fiancé ?"
"All the time you want but once we receive a mission you will be forced to follow or you will receive extreme consequences."
"Any security for her ?"
"As much as you need !"
"Do I have a choice in this ?"
"Nope you are already in the army !"
"Can I tell her ?"
" if you want, we can tell her."

"When do I start ?"

I guess Im part of London's army, I really never had a choice, I was forced to learn to kill when I was young, and now I'm using these skills to fight for the country I live in and for the ones I love. Now for the hardest part, besides fighting and killing, the hard part is telling the woman I love. I lied to her once and I cant afford to lie to her again, I could never live with myself if even a small accident happened to her.
My love for her is greater than time itself, we would stay up late and talk about nonsense, our wedding, and our childhood, and she would look at me with this face as if she waned to know every single detail, from the time to what I ate. We would dance in the streets of London, like Oxford Street, the street was empty and it began to rain. Estelar being her normal self took my hand and started to sing....

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FLASH BACK TO THEN
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"Come on Ryder !"
"What are you doing !"
"Take it in ! Take every drop into count, and  feel the water on your face."
" I'm not like you Estelar !"
"That's why we attract !"
"How ?!"
"Use that technical brain of yours !"
She was trying to refer each other as magnets, opposite sides of a magnet attract each other, cause them to connect and make an even stronger magnetic field causing them to hold each other tighter.
"Ryder, listen, we are to stay together and hold each other as if we were magnificent beings in the universe and with one swing with our hands we can either create or destroy life as we know it !"
"Estelar you are crazy !"
"But that's the point !"
" How !?"
"Because we are in love with each other and perfect for each other, we cancel each others flaws and build each other up !"
She was always thinking arty farty shit, but i was never like that, i guess she brought the humanity out of me...

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BACK TO THE PRESENT
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I asked her to meet me at this restaurant, was the very first restaurant we went to as a engaged couple, will never forget.
I saw her walk in, even more beautiful than i first saw her, I kept falling for her every time i saw her.
She sat down in front of me, she put all her stuff down and smiled, just hope it will be there later.
"Listen Estelar, London Goverment has asked, well more like forced me to join the special ops army to fight for the country and wants me, when they get an assignment, for me to complete it no matter what..."
"Ryder, I know !"
"Wait, What !? How could you possible know ?"
"The government came past the apartment, sat me down and told me everything."
"And what are your thoughts ?"
"I'm not happy with it but at least I know your safe and that I'm safe..."

Hmmmm that was more easier than I though

We sat and ate our dinner, we spoke and laughed about our pst and we even got round to finalizing the date for our wedding ! If the government doesn't ask for me on that week, then we will both be happy. All I hope is, can I make her happy ?
Can I protect her ?
Can I give her what she needs ?

She looks deep into my eyes, FUCK I LOVE HER  !
"What's wrong ?" She asked me...
I grab her hands and look into her eyes...
"Listen, Estelar, I love you a lot hay,  but what if I can't protect you ?!"
"Ryder ! I know you will be able to protect me !"
" I love you Estelar !"
" I love you too Ryder !"

At that moment, a flash grenade is thrown through the window and goes off causing us all to go temporarily blind and deaf. A masked man grabs Estelar and runs out of the restaurant, and throws her inside the back of a van. With all my strength I run out of the restaurant but still suffering from the flash I could not see which direction the van went. I fall to my knees and let a scream out of my mouth...
I can't believe I lost her.

I lost the love of my life....