In Love With Mr. Green [student/teacher relationship]

Chapter 20

I can't get any words out, I can't move, I can't scream. I look over at the driver, his head is resting on the airbag. I can't tell whose blood was all over the windows. I feel some running down the side of my face but can't reach up to touch it.  My eyes get heavier but I keep telling myself I'm not tired. I can't force it anymore. I can hear sirens in the distance, I can hear the faint sound of voices, but I relax back in to the chair and let my eyes close.

                                                                                               ***

"Grace I will personally kill you with my bare hands if you don't GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED" I opened one eye to see Zoe standing in my doorway with her hands on her hips. I grunted and rolled over. "Grace I'm serious, how long has it been since you went in to school? You need to finish school, get your grades and then you can worry about how much you've fucked things up" Zoe smiled and turned around to walk to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and sighed, I knew she was right. What good was I doing being in bed all day?  I sat up and flopped my legs over the bed.  I slowly got dressed and scraped my hair back into a ponytail. 
  I looked at myself in the mirror. I had decided it was a no make-up day today. Despite how gormless I looked. 
  I decided to walk to school. Even if I was late, I'd only be missing physics, and the thought of that, the thought of Jack, made me feel sick. I'd planned to go and see him today, I couldn't put it off any longer, I knew Max and his family had been with him, I just couldn't face him if he knows the truth.

I stared up at the hospital doors.  I'd been stood at the bottom of the steps for a solid 10 minutes, building up the courage to go in. I took a deep breath and took my first step up,

"Grace!" I spun around, Jason. I gritted my teeth and faked a smile,

"Oh, hey" I stepped back off the step, back to square one.  I couldn't help but notice Jason looked angry,

"Visiting Jack?" He asked, his eyes piercing in to mine

"yeah...you?"

"Picking something up" Jason lifted a medication bag, I raised an eyebrow, "my mother" he added. I nodded slowly,

"well...I'll see you later" I gave a small smile before turning round again,

"Grace...have you thought about it?" I froze, without turning round I replied,

"Yes"

"who?" Jason stepped closer.

"Not now Jason" I walked up the rest of the steps and in through the sliding doors.

I made my way down the corridors, my palms were sweating and I could feel my heart getting faster and faster, I was practically running at this point. I felt like I was losing my mind. I stopped outside Jacks room and took a deep breath, I slowly opened the door. Empty? I looked around the room, all his cards and balloons had gone. I felt myself nearly panting,

"Honey, can I help you?" I spun round to see a short little nurse smiling up at me

"Uh, the patient...In this room...Jack Green?" I was falling over my words,

"You are....?" she trailed off

"Girlfriend?" I wanted to sound sure, but it was more like a question for her, she nodded slowly

"Sweetie he's in the day room with his friend just signing some papers, I bet you're all so pleased he's leaving today, we've grown quite attached to him here" she smiled warmly at me but I felt like I had no control over my body,

"Thank you" I whispered, I followed the signs to the day room. I heard his laugh, my knees felt weak but still carried me in, "Jack" I breathed, a smile found its way on my face, he looked normal again, he'd had a shave and he was in a plain white t shirt wearing what I always classed as my favourite shorts, he looked so hot in them.  His eyes were full of pain, my heart sunk, I suddenly felt like I needed to run away but my feet were stuck to the ground,

"Grace" I snapped out of my trance and saw Max had been sitting next to him,

"Max" I said bluntly,

"I think you should go" Max said sternly and stood up,

"Jack?" I whispered, I felt the tears rushing to my eyes, he knows. Jack looked over at the wall. I shook my head and walked over to him, "Jack please"

"I don't want to see you" Jack whispered back, I froze on the spot again,

"I need to explain, everything can be explained" My voice broke, the tears were already falling down my face and I just didn't care to stop them at this point.

"Grace please, just get out" Jack said more sternly. I felt like my body could feel his words, like they were slowly crushing me in to the floor.

"Jack-"

"-Grace how many fucking times, get out" he snapped and looked back in to my eyes. The pain in his had all gone, it was now anger. I stared with wide eyes, Max had looked away at this point, Jack was still staring at me. I could see he was upset, I could see how much I had hurt him,

"I'm so sorry" I sobbed before running out of the room,

"Lady slow down!" I heard someone shout behind me. I didn't care, I needed to get air, I needed to run, I just needed to be away from all of this. I got to the steps outside and ran straight over to the taxi rank, I flagged down a taxi that was just pulling in and before my mind could catch up, I was already inside.

We'd been driving in silence for 20 minutes, my brain couldn't focus on making my mouth saying anything, it was too busy replaying everything that had happened, everything that I had done wrong, everything that I'd messed up for everyone.  Every now and then the driver would whistle to the radio. My thoughts were disturbed by the noise of a vibrating phone, I rummaged through my bag as fast as I could, 'Please be Jack' I thought to myself, I hoped he was home and wanted to talk,

"Hey bud"

I looked up, the driver had picked up his phone. I frowned and rolled my eyes but got mine out anyway. I had no new notifications. I tapped on my messages and onto Jack's name, I didn't even want to read our previous conversations, I could feel my heart tearing up inside my chest at just the thought. 'Jack' I typed, 'I know you're not likely to forgive me anytime soon, but please hear me out. I don't want to do this through text. Please, jus'

"Shit, SHIT!" I looked up from my phone again, a car was heading straight towards us, we swerved on to the other side of the road but it was too late, he'd lost control, my breath was caught in my throat, "Fuck!". I closed my eyes, I felt the car roll, I felt myself getting thrown around my seat, I felt the seatbelt cut in to me, I heard the crashing, the airbags, cars screeching.

I can't get any words out, I can't move, I can't scream. I look over at the driver, his head is resting on the airbag. I can't tell whose blood was all over the windows. I feel some running down the side of my face but can't reach up to touch it. My eyes get heavier but I keep telling myself I'm not tired. I can't force it anymore. I can hear sirens in the distance, I can hear the faint sound of voices, but I relax back in to the chair and let my eyes close.