i was broken | c.s.

3. memories

lili reinhart

may 16th

i feel the wind in my face.

and stare out at the field of green and yellow.

the beautiful sun kissed golden flowers,

in all the green and taupe grass.

where we had our photoshoot.

where i was wearing the flowing, ebony dress.

i remember.

we had fun.

we laughed.

we talked.

i miss it.

i close my eyes.

memories flash by like i'm flipping the pages of a book.

the interviews.

the articles.

the dating rumors.

i chuckle.

not gonna lie, i wished they were true.

a part of me did, at least.

that little charismatic bastard.

but, i'm with someone now so..

that's that.

we love each other, though.

this place is sort of like my safe space.

it's sort of tainted now, though.

cole came here a lot.

so it's filled with memories.

i could almost fall asleep..

it'd be nice.

considering i didn't get any.

maybe i should call my mom.

talk to her.

or cole's mom.

see how she's doing.

or dylan.

i wonder how many people were hit hard by this news.

it's been a few days, but..

poeple are still talking about it.

a lot.

i'm brought back to reality by the booming ring of my phone.

"hello?"

"lili! thank god.. i called several times, you weren't picking up," a familiar voice makes it's way to my ear, but, i can't recall who it is. i'm so disoriented, "lil? you okay?"

i take the phone away from my ear to check who it is.

camila.

makes sense.

"oh.. uh, yeah. i'm fine. just a bit.. out of it."

"oh. well, come to kj's. now." her voice is very stern.

"um, what's up?"

"we found something."

— ≛ —

"what is it?" i burst through the door.

"that was quick." camila states.

"what'd you find?"

"it's not much, but.. he must've had it really planned out," kj hands me an open envelope, "it arrived today."

"what?" it's addressed to kj's house..

from cole's.

10/05/17

i don't know how you're feeling right now. glad? overjoyed? awestruck? melancholy? if the last two, i'm sorry. if the first two.. i expected it. don't be mad. i'm moronic. my intelligence is shortsighted. i always felt shunned by you guys. uneeded. unwanted. i knew that wasn't true. i told myself i was foolish for thinking that. but the feelings grew too strong. i had too many things going on and not enough courage to ask for help.

"what did he have going on? what was wrong?" i ask in desperation.

"we don't know." kj replies, a bit of anger in his undertone.

"that's what we're trying to figure out." cami adds.

"and we hope we do." mads pipes up, after being silent the whole time.

her phone gets a notification, which she looks at and types quickly.

"guys. we have a problem." she looks up, fear in her eyes, "casey texted me, we need to go. stat."

— ≛ —

authors note

wow. super late update, I'M SO SORRY. i suck at keeping commitments, yikes. but i gotta keep this cs i love this story kejsjsj. it really relieved a lot of my anxiety over my trip. anyways... enjoy! pls keep reading, and vote and comment! and don't forget to follow;)). bye loves!

- s