kj apa
4:00am, may 22nd
i just woke up from another..
i don't even know.
but i broke a lamp in my sleep.
and apparently only got 2 hours of sleep.
basically what i've been surviving on for over a week.
i just want it to stop.
not just the..waking up and screaming.
everyday.
at four in the morning.
with no clue as to why i woke up screaming.
but everything.
i want everything to stop.
the investigation.
the pain.
the world.
life.
i want cole to be back.
none of this would've happened if he was still here.
i lean back against the cushioned headboard of my bed and shut my eyes.
it doesn't make a difference, though.
since the room is pitch black.
my right hand absentmindedly goes to scratch my left forearm.
tears start streaming from my eyes.
i want it to stop.
i'm shaking.
my nails are scratching harder.
i want it to end.
flashbacks.
they dig deeper into the skin.
when will everything stop?
i feel some skin peel away.
blood.
when will life end?
i can feel it on my fingers.
i can't stop scratching.
i'm overcome by the temptation.
it stings.
it hurts so much.
i can't stop.
it'll never stop.
but i want it to.
so bad.
i miss it.
that night.
under the stars.
the heat.
the passion.
goddamnit.
stop thinking about it.
it's over and it's never happening again.
so stop.
at this point i don't realize how bloody my hand is from scratching my arm raw.
i should probably wash it.
i won't get back to sleep anyways.
so i get up, turn on the lights, and get a towel.
my hand makes it look like i killed someone.
and my arm.. well.
it makes it look like someone tried to kill me.
i make my way to the bathroom, and i realize;
it's gonna be a goddamn pain facing my friends tomorrow.
and not hurting myself with every sharp object i see.
— ≛ —
authors note
HOLY BABY JESUS I FORGOT ABOUT THIS CHAPTER OH MY. sorry for the late update, i was with my friends on sunday and on monday i fucked up my face. lets just say there was running, slipping, a counter, and then 5 stitches. i'm alright though lmao. i hope you enjoyed this chapter and it didn't make you wanna jump off a bridge !! bye !
- s
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i was broken | c.s.
Fanfic"cole sprouse has killed himself." a sentence that shocked everyone. the fans. the media. his friends and family. shortly after the first season of riverdale finished airing, and the second season was filmed, he was found dead. in bed, pale, with t...
