kj apa
1:00am, may 22nd
i can't sleep.
i've been staring at the ceiling for an hour.
i wish i could just sleep.
if i sleep, though,
i bet i'll wake up in 2 or 3 hours.
by my own scream.
again.
and i can't have the others hear it.
they'll think i'm insane.
they'll ask why the fuck i screamed.
and possibly broke something.
i wouldn't be able to explain.
because i don't know.
all i know is it started ever since cole killed himself.
my eyelids start to get heavy.
i can't control it.
so, next thing i know..
i'm asleep.
— ≛ —
he's everywhere.
he's surrounding me.
why's there so many of him?
he's whispering something.
what's he saying?
'come'?
he takes a step closer.
or should i say —
every one of him step closer.
he keeps saying come.
until every 'him' merges into one.
in front of me.
"come."
"i can't"
"why not?"
"the others need me.."
what am i saying?
i don't even know what he means by 'come'.
i guess i do.. here.
"forget them."
"what?"
"you forgot them that night. why can't you forget them again?"
he touches my chest.
then the blank, white room transforms into a burning forest.
"come, kj."
"no."
"you will."
"i won't"
"soon. you'll try."
the flames then go in on us.
"KJ!"
i wake up, bolting into an upright position.
i'm on the ground.
lili, cami, and madelaine are surrounding me.
why does this keep happening?
what's waking me up?
why am i so sweaty?
and hot?
i pull at my sleeves so they cover my hands.
"what was that?" cami asks.
"i...," i need to collect myself. i don't know what's going on.. "i don't know.. it's been happening every night."
"you need to see a doctor about this." mads informs worriedly, "you were thrashing and screaming, we thought someone was killing you."
"it's fine." i say.
"no, kj, it's not." lili argues.
"it's fine. i'm fine." i insist.
i need to believe it.
"i need to use the bathroom. go back to sleep." i walk to the bathroom.
but i don't need to use it.
— ≛ —
authors note
it's been months since i wrote this, jesus fuck. i am still yet to continue/start writing other shit. my mind has so many story ideas but i have no motivation to write them. i'll try though! i hope you enjoyed this chapter, i love you all!!
- s
YOU ARE READING
i was broken | c.s.
Fanfiction"cole sprouse has killed himself." a sentence that shocked everyone. the fans. the media. his friends and family. shortly after the first season of riverdale finished airing, and the second season was filmed, he was found dead. in bed, pale, with t...
