The journey to here

1

I WANT TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING IT IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO ONLY LIKE LOVEY DOVEY STUFF. THIS STARTS OUT WITH MERADD HATING EACH OTHER, AND WILL PROGRESS WITH A BDSM TYPE RELATIONSHIP. OF COURSE THE LOVE WILL FOLLOW, BUT THE FIRST SEVERAL CHAPTERS ARE WAYYYYY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I USUALLY WRITE.

A/N- so this is a new fic I've decided to write, with this account and my other one @Deipotent_Daisy I have four on going fics in total because A) I don't sleep and B) I write like most people breathe. I spose if you count the Teddy x Cristina fic I plan to update soon, that'll make this one fic number five 🙈 I have no life, so you guys get tons of reading material! (And I actually have started pre writing another MerAdd oops that one will be out in a few months along with some possible swanqueen I've been working on 🙉🙈). Thanks so much for reading and following, and s/o to SuperGreyPotato for liking everything I put out, you should check out Lavender Desires on their account it's fucking kick ass.

Without further a due, here is 'The Journey To Here', hope you like it!

Addison's POV:

I hated looking at her.

I hated looking at her and thinking of all the ways Derek touched her, all the ways Derek loved her, all the ways she loved him. I hate looking at her and thinking about all the ways she made my husband desert me.

I hate looking at her.

It's all different types of wrong to treat her differently while she's on my service, it's all different types of wrong for her to be on my service in the first place. But either way, I should've been professional. Calm, cool, collected, mature. But instead, my emotions got the best of me and I always find myself, time and time again, being hard on Meredith when she didn't do anything wrong.

Professionally, anyway. She's a good doctor, not so sure about her moral compass.

"Doctor Grey, what the hell are these?" I'm in an exam room with Meredith, I was looking over scans when she came in with results to a blood test I ordered on my patient. When I went to look at the chart, the chart Meredith did, I was less than impressed. "Not only is this chart messy, but it's uncoordinated and it's wrong. Honestly, how can you expect me to let you scrub in on this surgery if you can't even do a damn chart?" I demanded. I knew it was unfair; the chart wasn't THAT bad, and it was a cruel thing to have Meredith on my service and not let her scrub in on a surgery she worked for.

But I didn't care. I was hurting, which was dumb I had no reason to be hurting the way I was, Derek and I were back together, he dumped Meredith and we were working on our problems. Still, my chest ached every time I laid eyes on Meredith Grey, especially since I felt like my pain wasn't justified. I had no reason to still be hurting since everything was going to be okay.

"I'll redo the chart" Meredith sighed "but I really do want to scrub in on this surgery; I worked hard, I was with the patient day and night. I haven't slept in three days!" She was irritated. I would've been too.

"You're not stepping one foot into my operating room if you're going to pull those tones with me. Maybe if you could do some adequate charts, I'd let you scrub in" I snapped, my voice raising slightly. I could feel my blood pressure rising every second she looked at me.

"Are you kidding me?" Meredith counters, hands on her hips "you work me to the bone, all day every day, and this is the third surgery you won't let me scrub in on! How am I supposed to learn when you're such a bitch?"

Shocked that she was speaking up (she usually took what I threw at her, with stride even, and didn't bother countering anything I said), I rose my eyebrows. "You'll be lucky to get in on any surgery if you talk to your bosses like that. Honestly, who raised you to talk like this? God knows it wasn't your Mother, she'd be disappointed in how inadequate you are. A disgrace to Ellis Grey's work" I spat, feeling my blood literally fucking boil.