The journey to here

9

The days that change your life significantly always start out as normal days. You wake up, you get dressed, maybe eat some breakfast. Nothing is different, everything is almost eerily the same, because later on, everything would be different.

This day was one of those. Of course, I couldn't have predicted anything note worthy would happen, but the day started out the same as a million and one other days had; I woke up, I ate, I showered, I got dressed, I went to work. Everything was simple, normal.

I got to work around six am, and immediately went to find Bailey. I wanted to know what intern was mine for the day, so I could begin rounds and prepping the pre ops. Secretly, I was hoping for Stevens. She seemed to have a knack for pregnant ladies and babies, she was good at her job, and she wasn't completely insufferable. Sure, she wasn't exactly my top pick for best friend but I didn't want to rip my hair out (Alex) or stuff my ears with gauze (Cristina) when she was around.

Bailey was sipping on coffee, going through charts when I found her. She looked exhausted, residents always seemed to look closer to death than the patients, but she was still going and I had to respect that about her. Miranda Bailey woke up and kicked ass every damn day.

"Is Stevens taken today?" I ask her "I need an intern and Stevens has a knack for my specialty"

Bailey nods absently "Stevens is free to go with you today. She worked a long surgery last night, so she might still be asleep in an on call room, ask a nurse to page her"

I thanked Bailey and asked a nurse to page her. Stevens was punctual, she always answered her pages. But for some reason, today was an exception. The nurse paged her three times, with no response. At a quarter to seven, I decided to just go check the on call rooms for her. She probably was sleeping through the pages because she spent all last night on her feet; I could understand that.

So, slightly annoyed but still feeling optimistic about the day, I went to find Stevens.

She wasn't in the first on call room I checked, so I went to the second one. I opened the door, expecting to see a sleeping Izzie, and instead I'm met with Meredith and Derek.

Kissing.

My eyes went wide and my heart stopped; I didn't know what I was feeling, but later on I'd identify it as betrayal and heartbreak. I trusted Meredith, and she went behind my back and did this.

"I'm sorry, I'm interrupting" I turn sharply, my voice cold. Anger coursed through my veins; pure, unfiltered anger. 

"Addison" Meredith went after me "it isn't what it looks like"

"Save it, Grey" I snapped "now get to work" I didn't turn around; I couldn't look at her. A part of me wondered if I'd ever look at her the same after seeing her kissing Derek like that.

"Addison" she reached out and grabbed my arm lightly, and I yanked it back like she was on fire.

"Let me rephrase that" I say slowly, still not turned around and angrier than ever "get the hell out of my face"

I'd stomped away before she could follow.

~

For the rest of the day, Meredith and Derek both followed me, attempting to win my forgiveness. But I promptly ignored them both, and went about my day as per usual.

My mind raced with thoughts and unanswered questions; I should be mad at Meredith for kissing Derek because he's my husband, but really I was mad because I'm a married woman who's sleeping with my husbands ex (possibly not ex anymore) mistress and I was starting to feel unwanted feelings for her.