The journey to here

8

"Colour?"

"Green"

Meredith and I were at my hotel, a couple days later. We'd decided to try something new in bed tonight, and that's how I ended up blindfolded with my wrists bound to the headboard (with a silk scarf so no marks were left) while as naked as the day I was born.

"I want you to close your eyes" Meredith instructed "and just let yourself do nothing but feel" I couldn't see her, but I could hear her and feel her. She'd discarded all of her clothes as well, and was now straddling my waist.

"Yes mistress"

"Good girl" she praised, grazing her hands down my sides lightly, before leaning in to kiss me slowly. I wasn't able to touch her, and I couldn't see her, which meant all my focus was on feeling. I had to figure out what was happening solely by touch, I didn't have the sense of sight to aid me this time.

I felt a hand snake it's way down between my thighs as her liquid gold lips danced against my own at a tortuously slow rate. Her hair brushed against my cheeks, then my shoulder, as she moved to outline the shell of my ear with her tongue.

"Don't talk, and don't make any noise" her voice was a velvet soft purr in my ear, and all at once, she was slipping into me. It was hard to bite back my moan, but I managed.

Now, my sole focus was keeping silent. Because I had nothing else to go on, I was feeling everything ten times harder, which made it twenty times harder to keep silent. I had my bottom lip crushed between my teeth, and Meredith leaned in and sucked said bottom lip into her own mouth.

I was panting at this point; her fingers were working me over slowly and her lips were gliding across my own, dancing to a song that wasn't playing aloud. I could feel the sweat beginning to build on my skin, I could feel Meredith's breath on my neck when her mouth pulled away from mine, and I could feel her thumb reaching up to brush across my aching clit.

My back arched up into Meredith as I fought back any noises. This, of course, only made my situation worse, as my bare breasts and erect nipples were pressed tightly against Meredith's own. She was going slower this time, dragging it out painfully, while I was unable to make any sounds.

She sucked mark after mark onto my collarbone, and I still faithfully kept myself quiet. I made no noise, not when her fingers increased in speed, not when her thumb made a repeat brush against my clit.

She made her way downwards, sucking on my breasts, and I was overcome with the urge to knot my hands in her hair. But, I was quickly reminded that I couldn't when a quick tug revealed that yup, my hands were still bound.

"You're doing so well for me, baby" she murmured, the vibrations against my skin doing nothing to help my situation "you're obedient, who knew you had it in you" she moved lower, her nose brushing across my belly button, and I knew what was coming. I knew I would have to prepare to stay completely silent; no noises.

A mouth joined her fingers, and it was every ounce of energy I had in me not to make any noise. My breathing was heavy and erotic, her hands found their way to my hips, pressing the firmly down and crushing any and all attempts I'd made to buck up into her.

As if she were enjoying ice cream on a hot day, she kept her pace slow. Every time I thought she'd speed up, to let me finally capture my release, she proved me wrong by slowing down even more. But eventually, after what felt like years but was probably minutes, my stomach tightened and my legs shuddered as an orgasm ripped through me like a wave.

"You did amazing" Meredith praised me, making her way back up to untie my hands and take off the blindfold. The light I was met with after the darkness of the blindfold made me squint for a moment as she leaned in to kiss me lightly. "I think you did good enough to deserve a reward, what would you like?" She asked me, brushing stray hairs behind my ears.

"May I touch you?" I ask hesitantly, unsure of what she'd say. So far, I hadn't made her come once, and my fingers ached to be inside of her.

She beamed down at me, and instead of verbally answering, responded by guiding my fingers downwards and sinking herself onto them.

I watched curiously, as I moved my fingers in time with her hips. I watched her reaction to everything I did, I watched as her face twisted in pleasure when I rubbed her clit gently, I watched as her mouthed formed an 'o' when my other hand travelled up to tweak her nipples. I watched her eyes clench shut, and her breathing become heavy as she rode my fingers to her release.

It was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen, Meredith Grey coming undone. With a content sigh, she rolled off of me and pulled me into her side, the way she'd done just days before.

"You never cease to amaze me" she murmurs, arms tight around me and nose pressed to the top of my head.

Moments like these felt so intimate, so pure and so special, I found myself wondering how we could possibly ever fight the way we did. Here, when it was just us, we were perfect together. But out there, in the real world, things were so much different.

My chest tightened, my stomach flipped. I burrowed my head deeper into Meredith's neck and breathed in her scent, trying to ignore it.

But it couldn't be ignored.

Meredith was just with me for sex, for pleasure, this was a casual agreement that was supposed to be to both of our benefits. We didn't get along at all, but we were both attracted to each other. This was an outlet for us, but in her arms, I knew it was something more to me.

I felt legit, honest to God feelings for her.

And it scared me; worse than anything else on the planet it terrified me. She wouldn't ever feel anything like that for me, I was certain, so instead of accepting my growing feelings for her, I ignored it. If I didn't acknowledge it, then it wasn't really there.

Right?