The journey to here

15

A/N- I have never done a chapter of this story in Meredith's POV. Usually, I switch it up every so often in my stories with POVs but I somehow managed to go 14 chapters in Addie's POV so 15 is gonna be Meredith's just cuz I want to convey the backlash she got and the way her friends reacted to her now very public relationship with Addison.

Meredith's POV:

Holy crap. Holy fucking crap.

Why did I just do that?

My mind was buzzing with all kinds of different thoughts and feelings as I walked away from Addie, who looked dumbstruck and dazed. I knew I shouldn't have done it, I figured she'd be mad with me, but I couldn't stand there and watch that dirtbag guy hit on her, objectify her, when I knew she was so much more.

Swiftly, I got away from all the staring eyes and the shocked looks people were giving me. Nobody knew about Addie and I, how could they? We acted as if we hated each other and the very ground we walked upon. Nobody could've possibly known, not even my closest friends.

"Meredith Catherine Grey!"

Izzie's shrill voice making its way towards me was enough to make me roll my eyes in irritation. Izzie always needed to be the first to know everything, and when she was left out she made up for it by making herself well-known.

I was far from wanting to explain myself when all I needed was a second alone to think. I didn't regret kissing her, I never would, but I didn't want to deal with the backlash it would cause. I didn't want to make life harder for her when she was already struggling with her divorce.

"Izzie, not now" I told her, pushing past to find somewhere quiet to sit.

"Meredith, what the hell just happened?" She was quickly backed by George, who looked shocked and hurt all at the same time.

"Izzie I don't have to explain myself to you" I was borderline ready to snap if she didn't get out of my face, when Cristina came in at the perfect moment.

"Iz, you and Bambi need to lay off for a minute, alright? She doesn't have to tell you anything right yet" Cristina grabbed my arm and steered me into the direction of the bathroom while Izzie relentlessly trailed behind.

"You and Meredith always leave me out of things! I want to know this! Meredith is my friend, and I think George and I deserve the right to know what is going on!"

Faster than lightening, Cristina wheeled around on her heels and looked Izzie right in the eyes. "She is upset" her voice was low and dangerous, she'd kill anyone who tried to get past her at this point "she is upset and she needs a moment alone. You are her friends so you should understand that Meredith Grey doesn't owe you a damn thing. Go do something productive and when she is ready, Mer will tell you what happened. Because you are her friend you are going to listen to me and you are going to back the fuck up"

That did the trick.

Izzie and George stalked away, grumbling amongst themselves, as Cristina and I go into the bathroom and she locks the door securely behind us. I just look at her, unsure of what to say. I don't know how to explain it.

"You don't owe them anything, but Meredith if I'm half as good of a friend to you as I think I am, you owe me something. Because you're my person, and you somehow didn't tell me about this when you tell me everything else" Cristina looked hurt, and I felt awful. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell her, it was that I didn't know how. I was living in a bubble for so long, and now, the bubble has bursted and all the cold air of the world is coming in for me.

"I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't sure what was happening myself" I sigh, running a hand through my hair "I don't know how to tell you something like this when I don't know how to define it to myself"