✔ e i g h t

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today, sweet one,
was i pondering
and pondering so hard
over what exactly could it have been,
what exactly that made me
fall so much,
so deep,
in love with you.

i was thinking
and
i kept thinking
albeit nothing satisfactory came
to my mind.

honestly,
it's so hard to figure
in its accuracy
what exactly about you
made me fall so irreversibly
in love
with you.

was it
your thick black bunch of hair.
your way of running your hand through it, every time you're panicked

your dreamy eyes,
your way of batting them teasingly.
your eyelashes touching your high cheekbones, every time you do so

your broad shoulders,
that keep making me wonder if
they'll make me feel as much as at home
as they make me do in my dreams, hopes, imaginations and all.

your tall figure,
and your way of walking
oh, so gracefully.

your pink plump lips,
and your way of always wetting them involuntarily ever so slightly,
so seductively.

your way of
scratching the back of your ear,
every time you're awkward.

your innocence dripping through the act of hanging your head low
every time you're late to class

you chewing on your lower lips reflexively
every time you don't know the answer to a question.

that smile, that could only extend
my daydreams.

or maybe, even, the fact that
you will never be mine.
just the thought
of never losing you because,
well,
you were never even mine.

i don't know, if you're an addiction—
i don't even know how unhealthy—
but baby, i promise, the ecstasy you bring,
will always be worth it.

and later, tonight
as i was pondering still,
i realized
maybe this is what made me fall
so unbelievably in love with you.

not your smile or
voice or
looks or ways.

it was you
and you only.

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