now, as i sit
i see the sun peeking only slightly through the horizon.
i've never before, watched the sunrise, in my life
and, must i say, it is beautiful.
although, i wished
you were here with me right now,
i'd rather not.
i've sneaked into the school building
at 4:16 in the morning and
climbed quietly to the terrace, making sure
not to make the littlest of sound.
i've never, ever, in my life,
done anything like this;
and honestly,
i felt good.
so good, in a long time.
i can still feel the air,
blowing back my hair, and
cutting through my face, as i
close my eyes to
enjoy the sensation at its most.
it's a beautiful feeling, in all.
so good, that it makes me wonder, why
i didn't do it all this while, until now.
as much as i want to,
latin and economics and
my presence in the school building at 4:21 in the morning,
do not bother me at all.
although, i can
feel the freshness and soothe of the
morning air, against my skin,
sadly, enough, i still have to breath through the pipes, connected to the oxygen cylinder,
i have to carry everywhere i go.
i still feel so broken and miserable, underneath all the peace, T
so much, that it hurts to even lose myself in all the tranquility.
even as i sit here, alone
and feel the most free, i ever have,
i think of you.
T, i don't think, i'll ever be able to
free my mind of you.
it's like you're holding it captive
and i enjoy the feeling of your thoughts
caging me away from the
rest of the world.
it is as if,
the world around me, is running
and i stand still as an audience, only.
this world isn't for me, T
this world is for better people.
and, i sure as hell, not one.
i have, from quite a while, felt
like i have been losing myself.
now i know, it's you.
it's you, i've been losing myself to.
and T, i trust you with all— all of myself.
and you're not even aware of it.
and, even as i scribble my thoughts to you,
even as i feel the breeze
brushing against my cheeks,
i suddenly feel the urge to breath.
breath in the air, i've so long lived in.
the air, that
you've breathed in.
so i just pull the pipes out of my nose and
take a deep, long breathe in.
the familiarity, spreads goosebumps all up and along
my arms.
is this how beautiful the world really smells, T?
YOU ARE READING
y o u
Poetryi've never breathed more, as i have around you, but breathing in the same air as you, was suffocating enough to make me want to stop. but, love, you can't just stop breathing like that, can you? [in which, she writes letters to him, letters tha...
