it has been a while since i wrote to you.
after, six days when
i finally came to school, i
realized how much i really had missed
that rapid escalating flow of adrenaline in my veins
when i see you from across a distance,
those shivers of anxiety that you never
fail to give me,
those pangs of jealousy, when you have your arm lazily draped over an exceptionally beautiful girl, in school.
The affection glowing delightfully in your dark eyes.
but, when i approached my locker, today,
i also realized
nobody really noticed my absence or
nobody really minded it.
honestly,
it didn't feel very hurtful or
bothering, even.
because, i like the way i am
invisible
and broken.
like the china doll in my locker, i always treasure.
not just because it was my first
real gift from a boy, really— i'm talking about charlie—
but, mostly because
it reminded me of my own vulnerability
and that,
which only increased beyond help,
if i socialized.
sometimes, i wonder if
those hallucinations are my escape.
but if really, they are, then
so are my letter to you, my love.
so
is my unconditional love for you.
YOU ARE READING
y o u
Poetryi've never breathed more, as i have around you, but breathing in the same air as you, was suffocating enough to make me want to stop. but, love, you can't just stop breathing like that, can you? [in which, she writes letters to him, letters tha...
