y o u

✔f i v e

i saw a dream today.

it was raining quite hard;
so hard that
the rain drops kept sliding down
my neck
and back -
in a very uncomfortable pattern -
dripping me wet from
head to toe,
making my long blonde hair, stick
to my back
and my face.

although in my dream,
i was shivering,
the rain water, peculiarly
was very warm for
my liking.
very sticky too.

as i looked around to
regard my surroundings,
i realized
there were just so many
fireflies surrounding the blue of
the night.
it was a beautiful scene, around me;
a picturesque view.

do you know
what the japanese call
the fireflies?

hotaru.

do you know
about their believes about
hotarus?

i will tell you one day,
when it will be okay,
not today.

and then,
as i was still
thinking about
stuffs.
at a distance,
i saw you.

you,
were jogging
towards me
with an umbrella in hand and
a broad, glowing smile
on your face.
that was the most beautiful way
you've ever looked.
and darling,
you always look so beautiful.

you stopped right in front
of me and
extended your hand-
the one that was holding the umbrella-
so the umbrella was
right over my head and
the rain drops immediately
stopped trailing down
my warm face and
clothes.

i think i thanked you, before
we walked together, under
that same umbrella.

we talked a lot
about nothing, and
the topics are still a
blur in my head.

but i still know, we
talked, and
i know,
i was so happy
and that
i wanted every clock to cease ticking in that moment.

but then, my love, much
to my dismay, i
woke up, in the middle of the night and
i was drenched in sweat and
was shivering under my
thick duvet.
my chest rising and falling
in hasty pants.

the pang in my chest and
the flatters from my dream,
were still as raw and real as
in my dream.
all the feelings were intact, except
for you, my love.
you, were gone.
and
the fireflies too.

and then, i
walked up to go to my bathroom, across
my room, to
splash some cool water
on my face.
the dream had felt so palpable and vehement, that
even as
i was awake, i felt so
empty and
bleak
without y o u.

and my heart felt like
it had forgotten to beat.

and as i looked up
to face myself through
the mirror over the sink,
i was still shuddering.