Help Me

Better Than You Know Yourself

Jace's Pov. 

After we left the hideout, Ryan invited me back to his house.  We went and upstairs and fell asleep. 

The next morning I woke up and noticed that Ryan wasn't here. 

"He probably left for his "job"" I mumbled to myself.

I absolutely hate his job. He's a fucking idiot if he thinks I don't know what he does. I know, I just don't understand why.  Ryan won't tell me and no one else knows. I hate that he keeps it a secret from me. 

I seriously think that Ryan thinks I'm stupid. I know what he does.  He cuts himself.  He's a prostitute.  He takes anti depressants twice a day.  He meets with his psychiatrist once every two weeks. 

I know Ryan better than he knows himself.  

I decided I was done thinking about Ryan for the moment and I got up to do my morning routine. 

I walked to the bathroom and saw a note on the door. 

Nerd, 

I left for work.  I should be back before you leave for your dinner with Chase. If I'm not back could you please call me before you leave? Please? Anyway, have a nice day. See  you later.

Sincerly, 

Cash 

I know Ryan doesn't want me to go out with Chase tonight.  I'm only waiting for him to tell me. I mean, I'll still go anyway but I just want hm to speak his mind and tell me.  I know I sound repetitive but with Ryan, I have to be.  He just frustrates me so much. 

Anyway, back to dinner with Chase.  I'm only going because I need closure.  He just broke up with me and then he left.  I didn't even get a reason. I hate him for that. 

"I'm breaking up with you." Chase said.  I swear I heard my heart breaking.

"W-why" I choked out. 

"I have to leave." He said. 

"Why?" That seems to be the only word I can say.

He got up and left.  When he walked out the door I sat on my bed and cried for hours. 

That's exactly what happened.  Worst break up ever right? 

Anyway, I kinda wanna know why he's back.  I hope he doesn't want to get back together.  I would feel like a total asshole if he did. 

I'm in love with someone else. I'm just waiting for him to quit whoring around and tell me he loves me to. 

-------------------------------------------------

Of course Ryan wasn't back like he said he would be.  I wasn't going to call him either. 

I was getting dressed when I got a phone call. 

"Hello"

"Don't do this." Ryan said. 

"Don't do what?" I asked.

" Don't go out with him tonight." 

"Why can't I go?"

"Because I don't want you to go."

"I want you to quit whoring around." 

Silence. 

"Exactly. I'll call you when it's over." I said and hung up. 

He can't tell me what do.  He won't listen to me. Why should I listen to him? 

Ryan's Pov. 

What the hell crawled up his butt and died? 

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