Help Me

Denial

Ryan's Pov

"He's not with Chase. He's not with Chase. He's not with Chase!" I chanted over and over again.

He can't be with him. After what he did to him! How dare he?! I feel so betrayed. I like him and he knows it. Okay, maybe he doesn't know it, but it still hurts. I know he feels the same. Why won't he say something?

I can't believe he got back with him. I was the one who put Jace back together. I was the one who spent all my money on pointless things just to make him happy. I was the one who hugged him and whispered sweet nothings in his ear when he laid on my chest crying his heart out. I did all of those things.

What did Chase do? I know, he left him. Broke up with him and left. He basically fucked him and dumped him. I told Jace that would happen but he didn't listen. He was "in love" with him I guess.

I wonder what it feels like to be in love. Is it amazing? I heard it makes you want to wake up in the morning. It gives you a reason. It always keeps a smile on your face. Even when that person is being an asshole you still smile at him or her because your in love.

I just want to ask someone: Is it amazing? Is it all it's hyped up to be? Will it make me happy? Will he be there for me all the time?

I want to be in love one day. I want to get married and have kids. Even if they aren't my own. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I would love to have a family like the one on Good Times. Just without the, you know, poverty and stuff. I want a family that sticks together. One that will love me even when I screw up. I screw up a lot. A  family that will love me for me. That's all I ask for.

"The sun goes down the stars come out."  My phone sang.

"Hello?"

"Is this Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"Hey, it's me. Max."

"Max?"

I reached the guys house. It was really nice. It looked like a mansion. A big ass mansion.

I walked up the stone pathway that led to the door. I knocked on it and an attractive looking guy stepped out.

"Ryan. Come in. I've been expecting you. You're a little late." He said.

"Oh. Um sorry. I was a little held up." I replied.

"Well, time is money. You want all your money right?" he asked.

"Y-yessir"

"Well your going to get it rough do you understand me?" He yelled.

"Yessir." I replied.

He yanked my hair and dragged me up the steps. He opened a bedroom door. He roughly pushed me on the bed.

"Oh Max..." I said realization dawning on me.

"Yep, it's me. I was wondering if you could...um...come over for a bit? I mean, I have money. 100 dollars actually." He said softly.

"Oh..I don't know."

"Please? I mean, I won't be rough this time. I'm truly sorry about that. I was a little drunk." He responded.

"Are you drunk now?"

"No."

"Oh ok."

"So what do you say?" He asked.

"Uh, sure. Give me an hour." I replied.

"Cool." He said and hung up.

Is this a good idea? I'm kind of scared. Last time I was scared to tears. Do I really want to go through that again? He seemed really sincere. I believe him but at the same time I'm a little wary. I'll just have to pay extra attention. If something seems suspicious, I'll just leave.