Brave (Sequel to Beside You)

Chapter Twenty Seven

Aria's POV
I walked through the front door quietly. I closed the door slowly to watch Andy drive off. He waiting for me to get through the door. I gave him a small wave which was returned with his signature cheeky smile and he drove off. I finally closed the door and lent against it. I took a deep breath as memories of tonight's events flew through my mind. I smiled to myself before making my way into the living room. I couldn't help but feel a slight pang of guilt. I felt like I was cheating on Ashton by seeing other people.

As I approached the living room door I could hear whispered voices. As I was about to walk in, Theo's head popped around the door scaring me half to death.
'Oh Aria, I didn't hear you come in.' He lied.
'Stop. I know you were waiting for me.' I said, mocking anger.
'Not at all, me and Dougie were just having a drink and a catch up.' Theo continued.
'Right. Okay.' I chuckled.

'How did it go?' Dougie asks seriously. I smiled widely at his question.
'That good huh.' he laughed.
'Yeah, he's such a great guy. He took me to this fancy restaurant, one where waiters take your coats and give you a wine list. He declined the wine list. He didn't give any reason to it, just asked what soft drinks they had. Then we talked, whenever it got close to any 'dangerous' topic. I said that I didn't want to scare him off, but he would find out soon when i'm ready. He said he doesn't think that anything could scare him away from me. Everyone has their demons. He never wants me to feel pressured into telling him anything, but that he is always there if I do ever want to talk. I opened up about Theresa to him. I got a bit tearful but he just sat and listened and stroked my arm. I then said sorry for getting upset. He told me not to apologise, he's glad I told him. I told him there was more that I wasn't ready to tell him, he said one step at a time. He told me at the age of 19 he had a brain tumour which left him deaf in his right ear. When we got back here, he got out and opened my door for me. He hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek at the door. I thanked him for a lovely evening.' I rushed, almost in one breath.

'Aww Aria, he sounds like a good guy. Are you seeing him again?' Dougie asked excited.
'I think he is going to give me a call.' I smile.
'I'm so glad you had a good time.' Theo replies.
'Me too. I'm not 100% sure how I feel at the moment, but I think I might really like him.' I blushed.
'It's nice to see that beautiful smile back on your face.' Dougie smiled. I smile back feeling a little guilty. My smile begins to fade as the guilt takes over. The tears start to fill my eyes.

'Hey, hey. What's the matter?' Dougie coos.
'I just feel guilty. I can't feel happy these days without feeling guilty. She was all we ever wanted. It was meant to be one of the happiest moments of my life. But now she's dead. How can I be happy now?' I sob into Dougie's shoulder as he pulls me in.
'Aria, she would want you to be happy. Both you and Ashton. Whether living together or separately, she would want you both to be happy. She wouldn't want losing her to stop you from living your life. You need to let go Aria. She will still be with you, but you gotta let go.' Dougie comforted.
'I know and I'm trying. It just hurts so much. If she is watching I don't want her to think i'm forgetting her by moving on. That could never and would never happen. I just feel so lost and to top it off I lost Ashton. I miss him so much. I feel so alone without him around.' I cried.

'The whole point of dating is to try and move on from Ashton. If you guys end up back together at some point then great. You both needed your space, but you now can't put your life on hold waiting to see if that is going to happen. As for Isla, she knows you will never forget her. Have you spoken to anyone about how you are feeling? How you still can't say her name. Raf maybe?' Dougie asked concerned.
'What are you talking about Doug? I can say her name, I just choose not too.' I snap.
'No you can't Aria. I think this is half of the problem, you still aren't ready to admit she is gone. I watched you flinched just then when I said her name. Why can't you say her name Aria?' Dougie challenges. I shake my head at him.

'Say her name Aria.' he instructs, I shake my head.
'Say it.' he repeats, he walks towards me as he does. I walk backwards locked between a wall and Dougie.
'Dougie stop it.' Theo says quietly.
'Say it Aria, go on say it.' he continues, I could see he was getting frustrated but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I collapse to the floor, tears streaming down my face.

'Dougie stop it now!' Theo yells. To which Dougie storm out of the room. Theo follows him and I can hear them shouting. I bring my knees to my chest and I just sit there sobbing. That is until my phone goes off. I look at the caller ID, I can't believe he is actually calling back. It was Ashton. I answer it hesitantly, tears still falling down my cheeks from moments ago.

'Hello.' I say into the phone.
'Aria? Are you okay?' He asks, sounding a little worried.
'Ashton?' I reply, sounding more like a question.
'Yeah, it's me Aria.' his Australian accent confirms from the other end of the line.
Then it hit me. I can't do this to him. He wants to move on and I am being selfish.
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have phoned you earlier. I know you want to move on.' I says hurriedly. Before hanging up and let fresh tears fall. I missed him so much.

A few minutes later Theo comes back in. He pulls me up and puts his arms around me. I stand in his arms for a few minutes.
'I'm sorry little one. I don't know what came over him. Just let him cool off for a little. Have you spoken to anyone?' Theo asks, as he comforts me.
'I've spoken to Raf a little, before I met Andy. Playing and writing helps a little. I've written some songs.' I sniff.
'That's great Aria. Can I hear them?' he replies hopefully.
'Can we do this tomorrow? I think I might see if Andy can come round. I think he deserves to know if this does go any further, what he is getting himself into.' I say
'Only if that's what you want to do. Maybe it'll also help you to decide if you really want to stay with Andy, because no one is forcing you Aria. It's just nice to see you get out there and meet some new people. It might help your grieving process telling someone who doesn't know' Theo expresses.