Caged Hearts

13

Jhene

I woke up to her lips brushing  mine. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I want to pull away before I lose myself but I can't seem too.In this moment, my senses have been seduced and I can no longer think straight. "Jhene " she whispers  prolonging each letter as if to savor them. My heart fluttering at her voice .Never before has my name ever felt so wonderful.

"If we ever don't talk again remember I love you." I stated

I love you too. She said

I rose up sitting at the edge of the bed. I walked towards the balcony admiring the view something came over me , my limbs moved without my permission . I no longer had the control over my body. I stood  on top of the balcony fear for my life, tears streaming down my face. Looking down seeing all the tiny blurs of the people below.

I began to  speak. I don't ever  want to try anymore because  I feel  unwanted and annoying and I'm  afraid that's all I'll ever be. The words that came out my mouth  were true. I couldn't deny this feeling any  longer. I'm so afraid of you not wanting me as bad as I want you.

Tears block my vision as I looked down hoping not to fall.

JHENE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! It was Onika screaming and freaking out. GET DOWN FROM THERE BRUH. She yelled and pleaded

I can't I don't know why but I can't. I cried even  harder now knowing that she cared. She walked towards the balcony and stops beside me, and her hand slowly reaches for my arm. We linked arms and she push me closer to her then back.

Right then and there I knew I was done for, she let me go. I didn't  feel the warmth from her hand it was just a cold breeze that took its place.

Time seems to slow down when you're falling. I found myself falling in this darkness, hurtling to an invisible floor. A floor that would most likely kill me if I  continued to fall at this speed. The air pushed against my face, I  closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

I realize what all this mean When we were young our love was quite indistinguishable from lust. Our passion bonded us together, our laughter and our good times kept us happy. That was our old love or the love we had.

Then when I couldn't control  my body  represent  how people control worry about what others  thinks how they see, wanting to met their standards cause you to be a puppet have no control of yourself and who you are.

When i thought she was going to save me and let me down. It represents how she faded away willing to let me in the darkness i once hold before  i met her. She was my sunshine that keep we away from the  darkness.

I'm sorry  I wasn't  what you wanted. My last words before I parrish........

I shot up straight in bed, I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. I looked all around me, trying to get a sense of where i was. Few, I'm in my room. That was a terrible nightmare. Images flashed through my head all at once. How will i be able to sleep after that? Will i ever be able to sleep? I thought as i lowered my body back into a laying position and stared at the ceiling. Why me?

Jhene?  Are you ok.  she said with a concerned face.

Still breathing  heavily i nod my head still shock at the outcome of my nightmare.

It was just a bad dream just a bad dream. I lay back down and look up at the ceiling.