Shawn Mendes Imagines

drown

very sad tonight, very alone tonight, very suicidal tonight.

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I walked into her room seeing her sitting on the floor holding her legs to her chest as she looked out the window. I gulped hard and walked over to her sitting on the bed next to her. She sat there silently. Her wet hair from the shower dripping down her shoulders as she buried her face in her knees. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I saw the slits on her wrists. The bandages covering the blood. I bent down and sat down next to her biting my lip feeling myself choke up with words. I wanted to say saying something but my mouth was full of baseballs. Those baseballs were only falling out of my mouth because I couldn't breathe or bring myself to speak of the soft topic.

"I'm not okay, and it's not alright" she finally spoke up making me turn towards her.

She looked at me, her tear stained cheeks. I hesitated to wrap my arms around her as she pulled me in tightly.

"I wish I was dead, the hole in my soul is growing deeper and deeper" she whispered to me.

I petted her head as another tear rolled down my cheek. I closed my eyes and soon felt the emptiness in my arms slightly opening my eyes and seeing her disappear. My heart quickly coming down and crushing me as I felt my head fill with sorrows and sadness. It was so quick and I couldn't do anything to save her. Who was I, as her boyfriend, to not do anything to keep her here. I looked down at my own wrists as the blood started to pool and ooze out of my own skin. My eyes were not deceiving me. I felt my eyes getting heavier and the sign of her becoming more clear to me.

"Hold on Shawn, please, for me. Stay alive, for me" she said quietly, but I could barely make out the words.

I let out one last sigh before falling into a deep sleep awakening the next minute in hospital bed, a second chance maybe from
y/n? For my family? My friends? Even though I was still here in the cold dry bed, I was still... drowning.