Stealing the Cowboy's Heart

Chapter 24: Reality Check

*********Annika

"I'm just starting to have that feeling, Han..." I sighed over the phone as I finished cleaning up my classroom before Christmas break.

"He's just raised differently," Hannah said, she sounded annoyed. She was on her way back from Nashville and I couldn't wait to hug my friend.

"Hannah," I deadpanned. "What boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with his girlfriend?"

"You know that's not it." It had almost been a full three months since Rowland and I became official. And some may see that as fast but I've known him all my life, and been in love with him for almost as long. For me it was a no brainer, not that big of a deal. But I guess not for Rowland... "Have you talked to him about how you feel?"

"No!" I snorted, "What am I supposed to say? Why won't you fuck me? I can't do that." Hannah laughed at me. "I'm just... getting frustrated," I sighed as I leaned against my desk. "What if," I bit my lip. "What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not attractive enough? Or what if he still sees me as the little girl that hung around Kaden?"

"Is that really what you think?" I looked up to see Rowland standing in the doorway to my classroom.

"I, uh, gotta go, Hannah." She laughed, probably hearing Rowland and the strain in my voice.

"Bye, sweetie. See you soon," she hung up and I placed my phone on my desk before looking up at him. Rowland looked as hot as every in his levi jeans, blue cotton shirt, and his white Stetson, which hung at his side in his hand.

"Well?" He asked as he set his Stetson on one of the desks. "Do you truly think any of those are plausible?"

"I don't know what to think, Row." I sighed as he came to stand in front of me. His hair was still wet, probably from the shower he took after working at the Ranch.

"Darling," he whispered as he caressed my cheek and his thumb ran along my bottom lip. "Firstly, you're the hottest woman I have ever laid my eyes on. You're gorgeous, your eyes are like crystals and I'd be an idiot to not notice your curves. Hell, even the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh is hot as hell to me. Secondly, you will always be more than I deserve. You will never not be enough. Your heart is kind and caring. You know exactly how to make any bad day shine bright with just a small smile. You make me feel like I can do anything, with just a look in my direction. You make me a better man, make me want to be better. And lastly, if I saw you as that little girl with pigtails, chasing my brothers around still I wouldn't want to be yours so badly. Wouldn't notice how you won't eat your eggs unless they have potatoes in them. Or how when you're intensely drawing or working on a new idea, you stick your tongue out just a little. I wouldn't want to give you the world and bring you the moon. If I didn't want you, darling, I wouldn't be standing here."

"But..." I was stunned. I was speechless and it took me a moment to actually form any words that made sense. "Then why don't..."

"I never said I didn't," he smiled. "Darling, since you walked back into the barn almost six months back I've wanted no one but you."

"Then why won't..." he kept cutting me off and usually that would piss me off but I was having difficulty speaking anyway.

"Because my momma raised me to respect women and my daddy taught me how to treat them." I gave a nod but he wasn't convinced that I understood. "Which means that sex isn't just something you do. It's more than that. It's two people connecting on a whole new level, it's a way for two people to really show how much they love the other. And even when I start to lose control, my respect for you makes me stop myself."

"I never once asked you to respect me." I teased and he gave a laugh before smirking, continuing with what he was saying.

"I want you to know that I'm not just some other guy. When we have sex it's not just gonna be for the hell of it because, Darling, you deserve so much more than that." I wasn't sure at what point that I made up my mind to tell him, his speeches were... heart melting and I couldn't say anything but what I did.

"I love you, Rowland Joseph Baker." I breathed, almost breathless. "I've been in love with you for so long and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it." I felt that nagging sense of doubt as the silence dragged on but when he pulled me into a kiss they disappeared.

"You have no idea how in love I am with you, Annika." He whispered and a shiver raced down my spine. "I will tell you one thing."

"And what's that?" I smiled, feeling giddy as he wrapped his arms around me and I did the same. We just stood there and that's all I wanted to do. I wanted this moment to never end but since I knew it would, I let it soak into my heart so it would never go away.

"I'm glad you never stopped loving me." I laughed as he kissed me again. "It took my stubborn ass longer than it should've but I'm glad I found my way to you. Because I'd be lost without you, Darling."