First, I just want to say that I was triggered by something last night that brought back a rush of memories – and, consequently, feelings as well – from a past that I'd rather not revisit. I won't say what exactly triggered me, but it was a cover on a story. To show you how exactly I was affected by this, I'm literally going to copy the message I sent to my friend right after it:
“fucking fuck, [name omitted], why can't people be more considerate and not use fuckign triggering phtos for covers
[link omitted]
i just started breathing harder because of the picture
why woul someome fucking romanticize self-harm or act like it's some minor thing when it's fuking not it's a delicate subject and it shouldn't be used as some sort of plot twist or somethign im literally about to cry or have an anxiety attack i feel so weak and stupid for being triggered by this since it's just a picture but its not fair why cant people think about these things first im going to bed”
It probably sounds dramatic or fucking dumb to some of you, but it honestly has this kind of impact on me every single fucking time I see something deeply triggering. I honestly don't mind reading triggering stories. I'm not too affected by scenes with self-harm and such, as long as it's not just used as some sort of 'interesting plot device,' even though I always end up being saddened by it regardless.
It's the pictures, the fucking pictures. I can detach myself from words, I can pretend that I don't relate to the scenes and characters and feelings, but when I see a fucking photograph of fresh wounds that remind me a whole fucking lot of my old ones, then I have a fucking problem.
When you write a story about self-harm, fucking think twice before you go and use a triggering photo for your cover. It doesn't reel me in, it fucking sickens me and triggers me and reminds me of the times I used to maim my own arms like the person in the picture did. It makes me think of how I used to have those same cuts, how I used to do that, used to look down and see a similar image, and it motherfucking sucks to be reminded so aggressively and abruptly of things I just want to fucking forget.
Fucking christ, self-harm is not a fucking joke. It's not something to be taken lightly, it's not something that's romantic, it's not something that can just be stopped by some random boyfriend or girlfriend, it's an actual fucking problem that can slowly unravel your insides and make you feel ruined and destroyed. Honestly, if anything, it actually ruins relationships, not build them. There's absolutely nothing wrong with including those elements or scenes or anything in your stories if it's just part of the story, part of the character, and it's essential to the plot, but stop romanticizing depression. Don't make it some sort of plot twist, like it just serves to make the character more interesting, like it's a fucking personality trait or hobby or something. It's not beautiful, it's not lovely, it's not soft or tender or kind. It's fucking hideous and painful and heavy and makes a person feel like everything – the whole fucking world – is weighing down on them. It's sad and lonely and scarring. (At least a lot of cases are, depending on how severe the depression is.) Not all stories that include depression and self-harm (or others) portray it badly or ignorantly; plenty of them do a great job of expressing the emotions and such. But there are some that honestly make me feel bad in general because it's like depression is a fucking novelty, like there's something great and interesting about self-harm when there's not.
I know a lot of people on here have struggled or are still struggling with depression and self-injury, and not everyone seems to care so much about this, but seriously, please just stop using triggering pictures for your covers. It's not my fault if I decide to click on the title of your story from some random page, without seeing the cover first, then get fucking triggered into an emotional breakdown when I see something like that. You can't put a warning for a cover because it's right fucking there the moment you click on the story so just please don't use a triggering cover at all.
It's a fucking sensitive subject. Don't ever treat it like it's not, please.
I don't want to be confronted with things like that. I'm still trying to recover. I don't need something like that to haunt me again.
I just.
I'm sorry if I sound dramatic or annoying, but this honestly just really hurts me. And I don't know if anyone else feels the same way, but I'm really sick and tired of getting triggered by people that aren't sensitive to the topic and getting that horrible itch in my wrists again, that horrible reminder of what I've done.
I'm sorry, but please – think first.
[sorry i seem to always talk in circles and go off on tangents and whatever so im not sure how much of this made sense but yeah]
