SPRING DAY

lunch

"so, i close my eyes to old ends and open my heart to new beginnings."

- nick frederickson -

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i got invited to lunch today with friends. for a while they let me grieve our relationship. but i guess they are tired of letting me be by myself.

i couldn't get over you by going out and having fun with my friends. because we basically have the same friends.

the first thing they seem to notice is how much weight i've lost. and for the first few minutes they lament about how gaunt i've become.

the second thing their eyes fall on is my exposed tattoo. they are surprised by it. i always used to be afraid of getting one because i hated pain.

then they tell me how nice it looks. and that it gives me a bit of edge considering the fact that i've always been a soft person.

i can tell they're avoiding asking why i got it or what it means. they must have an inkling that it's something related to you.

catching up is hard. i haven't been up to much lately so i don't have a lot to say. and they tread lightly to avoid bringing you up.

i can see how hard they are trying not to let this get awkward. i appreciate the effort so i smile.

it's small and it doesn't quite reach my eyes but it's something. it seems to put them at ease. and the topic moves from one random one to another.

the rest of lunch is more comfortable. and i find myself having to force on a smile less and less.

this is good. maybe i should have lunch more often. it gives me less time to think of you.