As I sit here, in the darkness of my room, crying so hard I can barely breathe, I'm talking to my friends, pretending to laugh and have fun and acting like everything is okay
I don't understand why I need to feel like this...why I need to feel so god damn empty and alone..
Why I need to wish I could get drunk or high to escape my problems...I'm only 13..I'm shouldn't have to feel this much pain. I shouldn't have to feel so much pain that I want to fucking kill myself because it's too much for me to handle. I shouldn't be so god damn scared to live and to love and get broken that I think suicide is my only way out. I shouldn't be awake at 4 in the morning begging for the pain to end, fucking begging for someone to save me, for someone to take me from this hell and finally end my pain... I don't know what I did to deserve this
People "care" about me so I should stay. People "need" me so I can't give up on life...
What about me. What about how I feel. What about the fucking hell I'm going through... I understand you think you need me but I just need to fucking die already. People "love" me so I need to stay so I won't hurt them. I'm hurting so bad that every single day I beg for the courage to finally put a bullet through my fucking head...you think I want to live through that? Because I don't.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts.
PoetryThis is not a story, this isn't a happy fan-fiction. this is me looking for somewhere to write down and post the thoughts I can't/don't want to say out loud. this is definitely copying what my friend Tyler (@darkestdaes) is doing but oh well, i like...
