Thoughts.

reasons why my life is shit;

My mom is being investigated by the police and might lose her job because she gave one of her clients gravol for a sore stomach and apparently thats medical abuse

My dad is an alcoholic just like his dead abusive father

My dad got into a small car accident in the work truck and got into serious trouble at work because of it

My dad is 50 years old, he hurts himself constantly at work, and has almost died too many times to count and the thought of losing him scares the fucking shit out of me

My depression is getting bad again, almost as bad as my lowest point ever

My anxiety is getting worse, and i'm having more and more panic attacks

My suicidal thoughts are getting bad again

Ive started self harming again and i cant stop myself

Im over-weight and i have major body issues

My older brother hates me and wishes i was dead

My little brother might be taken by FACS because of the police investigation on my mom

My little brothers dad tried to kill himself, failed, spent three months in the hospital, did not respond to any medication and had to go through shock therapy, and is an unfit parent for my brother

I'm terrified of getting older, and it scares me every damn day

Im non-binary/transsexual(?) and my parents are trans-phobic

I'm pansexual and my dad is homophobic

I'm losing all my friends and i can't make any more because no one likes the things i like, and my anxiety is too bad for me to talk to people

I have trust issues and i feel like people constantly lie to me, even over the smallest things

I have no idea what i'm doing with my life, i have no idea what job i want in the future, and i feel like school is completely pointless if i don't know what i'm there for

I keep having nightmares about my worst fears, and they wake me up in the middle of the night sweating and in a panic attack

I'm barely sleeping because of the nightmares so i'm exhausted 24/7

I get so much homework it overwhelms me and i have mental breakdowns

I get these horrible headaches that are so bad i cry sometimes

All my friends are depressed and they're all suicidal and i feel like i'm in a constant battle to convince them to live