Better Off Alone✔

€hapter 6:

~Alex~

  I felt horrible for Paris.

  That's all I could think about.

  She was the most absolute terrific person anyone could meet and I wanted to hold her and reassure her, everything was going to be okay.

  She deserves someone like that.

  It was monday and I stood in front of the school doors waiting for her. I needed to talk to her, to hear her voice again, to make sure she was okay.

  Flipping my black hair out of my face, I bit my lip.

  What if she doesn't show today? Or tomorrow, or ever again?

  That's when I seen her waist length black hair falling in front of her face in an unbrushed mess and her glazed over eyes looking down at her feet.

  Walking up to her, I did a quick self check, by ruffling my hair and patting down my clothes.

   "Hey Paris, I'm sorry for Friday. Here let me help. " I say grabbing her bookbag.

  She gave me a genuine smile, although I knew it was mandatory, it still made me happy.

   "I never thanked you for taking up for me that day, I really appreciated it. The only reason I ran was because I was selfish, I thought I could handle myself, and obviously I couldn't. I've never had anybody take up for me, so I really didn't know how to react." She says as she keeps her eyes locked to the ground.

  "You're fine, I completely understand."

  Although ,deep down, I really didn't understand.  I couldn't quite get the concept,of the fact that no one could care enough to take up for such a beautiful creature such as herself.

   It was then that I was pulled out of my trance, when a girl with Green hair came skipping up too us.

  "Hey babe, who's this?" She says smiling and nudging Paris's elbow.

  "This is my friend Alex, K.C what did you do to your hair?!" She replies looking shocked.

  To be honest, my heart shattered at the word 'friend' because I knew that's all we'll ever be.

  K.C grabbed the end of her hair and coiled it around her finger.

  "I figured black was what we all were doing now, so I wanted to do something outgoing. You like it?" She says in a sassy kind of voice.

   "Of course hun." Paris replied, clearly not listening, "I'm ditching, do you want to come with me?"

  "Nah, I'm trying to bring up my grades, maybe some other time."

  Paris nods as K.C walked away, joining in with another group as the bell rang.

  "What about you cutie?" She remarked, beating those long eyelashes and smiling up at me.

  She was just so darn cute. I swear those eyelashes create a hurricane everytime she blinks, and right now, I bet Florida is getting dozens.

  "Duh?" I reply as if everything was normal.

  But inside my lungs were diminishing at the second, and my heart was trying to take control.

   Inside, I wanted to hold her forever and call her mine. 

   Inside, I know that none of these things would ever ensue, because to her I was just a 'friend'.

   We walked outside and around the back of the school, glancing at each other every so often.

   "21 questions?" She asks as we leaned against the cold, brick wall.

  The air was chilling, but not enough to make you shiver, and the pale brightness of the clouds made her skin like paper and her eyes like crystals.

   "Sure, you first." I reply smiling.

   "Okay, what's your favorite season?" She says setting on the cold concrete.

  "Fall, yours?"

  "Mine too!" She gasps, "What's your favorite colour?"

   "Black."

   "Of course the goth kid's favorite color is black. I should've guessed." She remarks with a smirk.

  I roll my eyes and asked another-

  "Have you ever been in love before?" I say carefully.

   "Well, not before. I never really believe in love, I mean what's the point? Everyone who falls in love gets crushed. I think the worst part about falling in love is the uncertainty that they may stop loving you. " she says looking at the ground.

  She was blinking her eyes repeatedly, trying to stop the hot tears from forming.

  "When you've done all you can do, and it still isn't good enough. When they say they love you and then just leave without a goodbye. When they leave you out in the cold where they first found you and promised you'd never return. When.... when... you fall back into a horrid world that you thought you'd never return to, not while you had them. But, now you don't  have them anymore, and so you are worst than you've ever been before." She continues.

   I just nodd in agreement.

  She's been in love before, and that person tore her apart.

  "Who was it?" I say, trying to hide my anger.

   "His name was Zack Smith, and he left me. He left me to die." She sniffs.

  My heart immediately stopped.

  You know that feeling when you're on a roller coaster, you're going up, then you realized you messed up and shouldn't have got on, and you get that certain feeling in your stomach?

  That was the feeling I had at that moment.

   I know it is so messed up of me, but I couldn't get rid of the thought that, another guy could hurt her like that.

  I was mad because, I'm madly in love with her.