"You haven't introduced me to your friend yet" Blaine said, willing to look into Kurt's eyes again.
"Blaine, this is Kurt. Kurt this is Blaine" Dan couldn't look straight into his boyfriend's eyes, he didn't care if he had to stare at his feet, he didn't deserve to know the truth, not now.
Memories of last night were slowly resurfacing in his mind.
Kurt's soft lips were caressing and searching on his body, slowly and passionately placing wet kisses on his jaw, and then down, sucking a purpley hickey on his neck, then teasing his nipple, following his chest hair down until he met his hard crotch. He could still feel his kissing on his cockpit, his lips surrounding it and then swallowing, until he could feel his come in his mouth.
Dan could remember he didn't want him to stop, he felt like flying, the exhilarating effect of the alcohol in his body and Kurt's warmth. He wasn't Dan right now, he wasn't the insecure gay boy, he wasn't the disgrace of his family, he wasn't depressed, he wasn't anything. He didn't feel anything except pleasure, and that was exactly what he needed right then.
Blaine was standing in front of him, his innocent eyes looking fondly at him, or at least he thought so.
"Aren't you guys hungry?" Kurt said, attempting to break the tension
"Starving" Blaine replied, smiling wide at the chestnut haired guy. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but when he saw Kurt it seemed like nothing else mattered. He was right there, with his perfectly defined body, wrapped in tight pants and a turtle neck shirt. His complexion was so pale it could have be made of the finest porcelain, his eyes were contoured by a layer of red skin. He had probably cried.
Blaine's heart was beating, his legs shaking, his breath getting heavier; but Dan was touching his arm, needing to be forgiven.
Kurt remembered everything about the night before.
"Bed" Dan urged, as Kurt was angrily attaching his lips to Dan's, his tongue taking control in his mouth, his hands exploring, his eyes admiring his friend's body.
It wasn't Kurt's first time, for the first time he knew what he was doing who he was doing. But he wasn't thinking, if he were sober he would stop, right then, right there. It wasn't right, and he knew. He was floating in a brainless ecstasy. He felt good, feeling Dan's heat around him, entering his body, until the taller boy moaned a name. And it wasn't his.
He realized that Dan wouldn't ever be his, that night didn't mean anything. They were just two drunk boys following their instincts without thinking about the consequences. Standing there, seeing Dan so hurt, heartbroken, betrayed, he regretted not feeling guilty when he was still able to stop it, to prevent the nightmare coming true.
"We could go to a nice place right here, me and my family used to go there at Christmas" Blaine suggested, but Dan peered aggresively at Kurt, telling him to stay away, to stop ruining anything good he had.
"There's no reason for me to come. You can go there by yourselves. I see Dan everyday, you have just few days to be together. I'd just be a bother. "
"No way!" Blaine exclaimed "Noone spends Christmas day alone! You are coming with us!"
"Are you sure that's okay?" Kurt asked, directing the message towards Dan.
"Of course!" Blaine placed one hand upon Kurt's shoulder and the other on his boyfriend's back.
"Just...just let me grab my coat" Dan left with this excuse and reemerged a few minutes later. Was he strong enough to hold a civil conversation? Could he look into Blaine's eyes and tell him everything was okay.
He could remember hitting the orgasm, the wide pleasure merely of his body, and then Kurt tenderly kissing him on the back until he fell asleep. He felt somehow protected, and probably it was everything he was seeking, protection and attention from others. All he really cared about, and he forgot about having a boyfriend, he forgot all his values, trading them just to feel desired. He didn't feel anything. Well, of course he felt something but there wasn't any connection whatsoever with the person in front of him. Suddenly he realised that it had been a long time since he actually perceive something after having sex. With Blaine it was out of habit, he did it because he had to and not because he urged to give himself to another person, to put his trust in someone else's hands, someone whom he knew would never betray him. Someone whom he wanted to be his, and wanted to be his in return.
It had been a long time since he felt that for someone. After that time he just stopped caring about the meaning of truly being with another person. And he forgot how good it was.
-
I apologize for this shit
YOU ARE READING
Into you (a klaine and phan fanfiction)
FanfictionKurt Hummel's biggest dream is to get out of Lima and attend NYADA. When he finally accomplishes it, there's one more thing on his to do list. Dan Howell is a dark boy with a mysterious past, insecure and fragile. When he finds a friend in Kurt he t...