Post-it Notes

Like a Deer in The Headlights

Everyone noticed the change in him, everyone knew what was happening, but no one wanted to do anything, they were all frozen in either fear or shock. He launched his body forward as he grabbed hold of her neck, shoving her against the wall. He felt the change, he knew what was happening, but it was different this time, he felt things, emotions and really strong emotions at that. He felt anger and sadness and love and passion. It felt strange to be back in this form of himself, but being able to feel things instead of being emotionless and dead inside. He still couldn't control his actions and he still couldn't completely think for himself, but now he knew why he was doing what he was doing. For Tony. The pressure and anger he kept pent up inside started to seep through the moment he heard Tony's ex fiancés name mentioned. He felt the change when they were laying down and FRIDAY told them she was here, but he made the worst mistake of his life and kept his mouth shut. This was the first time he could say that he regretted keeping quiet. He was trying so hard to overpower him, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't quite get a hold of himself. He was forcing himself, with what little control he had, to hold back and not kill Pepper. He knew she had hurt Tony and he wanted her to pay hell for that, but he didn't think she deserved to die. Steve, who had been slowly creeping into his friend's eye line, noticed a slight change in his face, a familiar change.

"Come on Buck, you can do this!" He whispered under his breath so only Bucky or The Winter Soldier could hear him. The Soldiers head whipped round as soon as he saw him and his eyes softened immediately, but his posture didn't. He still had the aggressive, protective stance that The Soldier held. It terrified Steve, but he wouldn't admit it, or even show it in his eyes, he knew that he needed to be strong for his best friend and for Tony. Tony needed to know that his boyfriend was going to be okay and he wasn't going to do anything else that he could regret later on. No matter how hard Bucky tried, he couldn't regain control of his body. He felt the energy he was putting in to keep Pepper alive, slip away from him as The Soldier took control again, tightening his hand around his neck. He closed his eyes tight, trying as hard as he could to just gain the tiniest ounce of control over his arm. Just as he thought that all hope was lost and he would have to watch himself kill another person who didn't deserve death, The Soldier dropped his hand and spun round at the sound of a familiar voice.

"Hey," The voice was soft and gentle and soothing to him, like a lullaby, it made him stop dead in his tracks, effectively making him drop Pepper to the ground. As he spun round he saw Tony edging towards him and he suddenly felt the urge to pick him up and run away with him, but he didn't. He was frozen. The Winter Soldier was actually frozen in place with a glare fixed on his face for the man in front of him. The glare wasn't anything cruel or violent, it was more of a loving glare, one that said 'I love you, but you're stupid sometimes.' It made Tony's heart swell with love and adoration, because even though he was The Soldier and not his Bucky, he still cared for him and saw him as his to protect. "You gonna calm down now?" He asked, taking another step closer to him. The Soldier flinched back, scared that he might hurt the man he loved and that was one thing he didn't want to do. "Come on..." Tony's voice was just above a whisper by now, he was a little hurt that Bucky had flinched away from him, but he had to remind himself that it wasn't his Bucky and it was in fact a cold hearted assassin that somehow still managed to inhibit Bucky's feelings for him. "Hey, Hey! It's good, we're good here." He laughed nervously as soon as he was able to think properly. He saw the look on The Soldiers face and immediately knew that Bucky had partial control and he looked hopefully at him, begging him to try harder.

"I'm sorry." Were Bucky's only words as he used what little energy he had left to run, as fast as he could, out of the building and as far away from there as he could. He could hear the protests and the sound of feet behind him, but he kept running. He needed to be far away from anyone he could harm or anything he could break, he needed time to calm himself down, to get The Soldier dormant again. He ignored the screams of his name falling from the lips of his friends and swerved past people on the streets, he knew that he wouldn't have any control very soon, so he made it his very own mission to run as far away as possible where there was nothing that he could destroy and no one he could harm within miles. He could feel his lungs becoming tired and his legs beginning to burn, which only made him run faster, he had never run so fast in his life, his serum was supposed to stop this from happening, but somehow he seemed to exceed the limit of help that he got from the serum. He decided that however far he had ran would have to do because he couldn't run any further and he knew he needed to do something about The Soldier, so he ran into, what looked to be, an empty parking lot and found a corner on the underground level that he sat – knees to his chest and fists wrapped around his calves – with his head against the wall, trying to regulate his breathing and calm himself down. The last thing he saw was a set of headlights heading his way and the sound of someone yelling beside him, before everything went black. His last thought was of how badly he'd disappointed Tony.