Giddy ~ GD

Chapter 16 - Stolen

I sat on my windowsill, staring at the long drags of water dancing along the window pane. It was difficult to make out that it was actually pouring unless you looked at a dark object in the distance, illuminating the clear drops. I could barely distinguish the end of my ash-black driveway, hence that it was a mile away from my bedroom. The visibility only reached to a quarter of a mile, the rest of rain I couldn't see appeared to be mist. A gigantic, almost black, cloud pressed down on the house like a foot leaving its mark on the Earth. The vast, now dark green palm trees hustled in the strong winds as if the whole world turned into a horror film, and now comes the petrifying plot.

I was resting my head against the bookshelf's wall that bordered in the window seat, both bookshelves enclosing the seat. My tan, small feet were kicked up against the opposite bookshelf, and my hands rested in my lap, holding onto a cup of coffee. I put on plaid pajama pants and a cropped sweater to emphasize the lazy afternoon. I was planning on going on a run, but I'd rather not get struck by lightning. Or, that's just my excuse. Also, Marissa did ban me from the outside.

I'd caught up on yesterday's work, today's work, and tomorrow's. That way, I was far ahead and could possibly invite the twins over tomorrow, unless Marissa thinks otherwise. I couldn't go outside or anything off of the property, as like I was in house-arrest. I'd never been under house-arrest, but I guess Marissa gets pretty strict when it comes to rules. I should've seen it coming. I curse to myself every time. You wouldn't feel bordered in if you texted her,  My regrets seep into my blood. 

But all that really mattered was that the twins impressed Marissa, house-arrest didn't seem like anything compared to not being able to go out with them. Even though I am seventeen, I only turned seventeen a few months ago. April 1st, 1999. Yes, it was April Fools day. My mother even harassed me for it. 

"April Fools day is a joke, that's why you were born on that day. You're a sick, useless joke." Amber Sterne's words crumbled my soul into fifty million pieces. How could my own mother be so sick and cruel? What did I ever do to her? She came home one night, drunk as usual, and beat me for being alive.

Hey, I wasn't the one who gave birth to me.

I threatened my life, it was on the line as I came back at her, trying to fight for myself. She boiled in anger, the immoral seeping into her blood flow as plenty powerful punches bruised my skin. I didn't go to school for the next week, embarrassed for people to see how weak I was. 

I wasn't weak, I just couldn't be confident enough to fight for myself.

I never told anyone about my mother, except Josh. We were a few months into dating, and I thought I loved him and that he was my one true love. He stole my heart and only now is he giving it back, but he still hasn't returned it whole. I remember, telling him about why my nose was broken and why my skin looked like our purple and blue uniform.  I can't remember how he acted, but I do know his cruel heart was faking it pretty well. He appeared apologetic and sorry for me, but I didn't want that. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. What I want, what I need, is for people to understand that I struggled, but know I'm okay. 

I'm okay.

Walking into the classroom of my favorite subject, History, terrorized me as I saw Josh's body hung over a desk, interlocking his sharp lips with Bethany Combodie, the most stuck-up girl at prep high. The two deserve each other, they rip hearts and return them with a few missing pieces. At that moment, my soul was vacuumed out of my chest and was in the hands of Josh. 

I want my heart back, Josh. 

I ignored the identical drops of rain piercing through my eyes, I didn't want to be weak. I wanted to be strong and confident, I needed to stop everything. I want to be tough and fierce. Why can I never be strong? Why is it that my heart hasn't returned to me, why does that manipulative, narcissist still have it? He doesn't deserve it, but someone else does. 

At that moment where the final tear fell down my cheek, my heart came back together. I knew who ameliorated it, who was fixing my soul. Someone who changed the way I felt, who blocked out the bad in the world. Who was the sun to my rainy day, my number one supporter. They were my cherry on top of an ice-cream sundae. My bandaid to all my cuts and bruises.

I knew. Boy did I know, that the angel who fixed me was Grayson Dolan.