Pinned but Fluttering

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

All things Twilight still  belong to Stephenie Meyer (sigh). I'm just twisting her story and characters into knots. Shall we see if I can untie them now...or at least loosen the knots a bit? ;)

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His eyes sad, Carlisle looked at me steadily while Esme turned away, busying herself with tidying my already well-organized dresser so that I couldn't see her face. But I guessed that she was crying...or close to it.

After searching my eyes for a long moment, Carlisle sighed and nodded reluctantly. “I'll go call her now,” he said quietly.

I couldn't help it. Tears streamed down my face. How I hated hurting him! But until I knew what secrets I was dealing with, how could I stay? I had lived with secrets before, and they had nearly killed me. I couldn't go through that kind of uncertainty and pain again....

It was the proverbial “catch-22” all over again. The Cullens insisted that I couldn't know what they were for my own safety, but I had to know for my own peace of mind.

I bent my head, avoiding Carlisle's too-sympathetic gaze, my shoulders shaking with the force of my tears. I ignored the pain that crying was causing to my tender ribs. Physical discomfort was nothing at all compared to this never-ending emotional pain....

Carlisle pulled me against his cool chest, and I clung to him unashamedly. “Don't cry, Isabella,” he whispered soothingly as I cried silently, my body wracked with sobs.

Man, that hurt....

After a few moments, my tears began to slow, and Carlisle tucked a cotton handkerchief into my hand. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose indelicately, watching his face carefully.

I worried about both Carlisle and Esme; they had welcomed me wholeheartedly into their home, not counting the cost but desiring to help me above all else...even above the well-being of their present children. I couldn't agree with them for taking me in.

I simply wasn't worth it.

I wasn't worth it.

Carlisle pulled me away from him so that he could look into my eyes, his hands on my shoulders. “I do not want to hear you ever say that again, Isabella,” he insisted, quietly but firmly.

Oh, shit. I must have spoken aloud....

But Carlisle was still talking to me, and I tried to pull my attention back on him as his soft voice continued.

“You are indeed worth it—so very worth it, my dear. We love you as one of our own already. We only want you to be happy, Isabella. And we don't want you to be worrying about us; we'll be fine. You need to do what is best for you.”

He paused, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath, then he continued in a whisper, “I shouldn't have brought you here. I...we just wanted to help you....” His voice trailed off, and I noticed Esme's hands rested on his shoulders as she stood behind him, comforting and supporting him with her quiet strength.

Esme smiled bravely, but I could tell that she had been crying earlier by the redness of her eyes although I saw no trace of tears. H“We will never regret bringing you here, Bella,” Esme insisted in a fierce voice. “You have brightened our lives so much. It's been a...joy having you stay here with us.” Her voice broke before she pushed on, and now she took a deep breath before she said slowly, “But now that you're so much stronger, perhaps Edward is right and you will be safer...elsewhere.”