Pinned but Fluttering

Chapter 17

Here's Chapter 17!! I'm sorry for posting late; I had final essays to grade and they took more time than I had planned.

Anywhooo, enjoy!!! :)

Chapter 17

Anxiously I stood waiting for the school bus in the drizzly rain, wearing my new-to-me jacket Mrs. Jane had bought for me. Today's drizzle was quite the usual for Olympic Peninsula weather.

Ugh. Sometimes I felt like a piece of mold, living in such a wet, drippy place.

Still feeling exhausted from my very long day yesterday, I was exceedingly grateful that I hadn't laid eyes on neither Billy nor Jacob last night or this morning...which was more than a little weird.

Actually, it was simply bizarre. But I'd take it. Lord knows, I would definitely take it.

It had been a long ride home from the ER last night, a ride filled with dread and anxiety...at its beginning, at least. But after an awkward silence, Officer Mark had finally started chatting with me, regaling me with hilarious stories of my dad's various embarrassing shenanigans while on the force. Officer Mark's extremely loud laughter at the stories he told almost hurt my ears, very effectively distracting me from the worst of my anxiety...or was it the medications Carlisle had given me? Anyway, I felt the compulsion to jot down these stories before I forgot the details; I didn't want to forget a single word, if possible.

After meeting both Carlisle and Officer Mark last night, I felt closer to my parents than I had for years. It was a very nice feeling, this nearness to them, and I felt a new strength building within me as long-forgotten memories came flooding back, no longer repressed but welcome now with a deep gratitude. The presence of these memories...some humorous, others sad and poignant...brought me a new sense of security and a feeling quite similar to peace.

Peace. What a foreign concept to me, to my life.

But it was nice, and I could only hope that it would last.

When I came creeping in through the unlocked front door last night after Officer Mark had dropped me off, the house was dark and silent. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought I was the only one at home, but that couldn't be possible. They never left me alone.

I sneaked down the pitch black hallway, figuring that Billy must be in bed and asleep already as no light shone from under his closed door. Returning to the kitchen, I quickly grabbed a glass of water and tiptoed back to my room, closing my door behind me. Opening the white bag Carlisle had given me, I took out the prescribed medications, swallowed the proper dosages, then crept out quickly to use the bathroom, wash my face, and brush my teeth.

As I tiptoed across the hall on my way to bed, I saw that Jacob's bedroom door was half open, his room dark. Apparently he wasn't home yet, and as I had no desire to run into an angry Jacob in the hallway just past midnight, I scurried off to bed, falling asleep almost immediately from sheer exhaustion.

Despite going to bed so late last night, I slept amazingly well, better than I had for years, and for once without the nightmares that often woke me with my own screaming. But this morning I awakened with my alarm at six in the morning, wide awake and ready for the day...definitely a new feeling for me.

Could it be the medications or maybe the many changes in my once-miserable life? Perhaps a combination of the two?

Whatever the reason, I felt positively buoyant this morning, despite the persistent gray drizzle outside my window.

After making my bed and smoothing my new-to-me comforter with a sense of satisfaction, I turned to my closet, deciding to wear my blue v-neck t-shirt and the blue-and-green plaid hoodie which matched nicely. Wow...matching clothing. What a concept! After pulling out new socks, a fresh bra, and new yellow panties that suited my cheerful mood, I quietly turned the doorknob of my closed bedroom door, expecting it to be locked as usual.