Pinned but Fluttering

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Edward Cullen whispered the words that would shift my entire universe:

“Isabella Swan, I love you more than life itself.”

***

I felt my eyes widen with shock at Edward's passionate words. I wasn't sure that I had heard him right.

Love? He actually loves me? Me?

No, I shook my head. No way. He couldn't love me. He shouldn't love me.

Why? Why would he love me?

It simply made no sense whatsoever.

I was sure that my jaw was agape, my mouth sagging open in utter shock and disbelief

Such an attractive look,I scolded myself, forcing my mouth closed with an audible snap.

While my mind scrambled to make sense of his words, Edward's dark eyes were scanning mine intently, obviously waiting for a response.

I was shocked into silence...into complete immobility.

But what should I say?

What could I say?

“I'm not worth it”--would that work?

As Edward continued to stare at me, his otherworldly face serene, his eyes filled with hopeful expectation, I blushed, casting my eyes down to my lap, but not before I noticed disappointment begin to cloud his beautiful eyes.

Rather than leaning toward me, as he had been doing, he sat up straight, putting space between us.

“I apologize, Isabella,” Edward said quietly, avoiding my eyes now. The hope that had illuminated this man was now completely absent, his voice low, quick, and nervous as he continued, “I shouldn't have said anything. I was just overcome by the moment, and....” His velvet voice trailed off, but I could hear the pain behind his apologetic words.

Tears once again began to fill my eyes and dribble down my cheeks; I swiped at my face impatiently. God, all I did was cry lately! I was getting so annoyed with myself, so I'm sure that the Cullens, and Edward especially, were getting sick of me, too.

I felt so stunned by his shocking revelations, and somehow, so weak. I hated myself for the pain I was causing Edward. I wasn't sure what I felt about him. Without question I was drawn toward him, and I often seemed to feel the same emotions that he felt, as if a special line of communication existed between only the two of us, enabling us to know one another at a strangely deep level ever since our first glances at Forks High.

But I couldn't put any of these thoughts into words.

As I struggled with what to say, Edward's calm mask reappeared quickly, blocking his true feelings from me, almost as if he were protecting himself from something (or someone) who could truly injure him.

“I'm sorry, Isabella,” he stated quietly and without emotion, his face oddly neutral despite the fierce burning of his eyes. I hated that he felt he had to conceal himself, protect himself, from me. He continued in the same flat voice, “You still aren't well, and I shouldn't have put more stress on you. I apologize,” he repeated stiffly.

“I...I...” I tried to say something. Anything. Seeing him so obviously in pain seared my heart, speeding the silent flow of tears down my face.

“Edward, you idiot!” hissed Alice from the doorway. “That's quite enough from you. Out!” she ordered, her finger pointing imperiously out my bedroom door.