Pinned but Fluttering

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The usual disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer; I'm just torturing them for my own sick amusement....

Enjoy my longest chapter yet—over 4,000 words!! :)

"What did I do?" I asked weakly, the room still reverberating from the sheer force of Edward's dramatic exit.

Alice seemed completely unperturbed. "Oh, it was nothing you did, Bella," she said, waving a hand toward me airily while rolling her dark gold eyes. Then she flashed me a wide grin, a "cat-just-ate-the-canary" kind of grin. Refusing to say another word, she returned to watching Downton Abbey. I tried to join her, but as engrossing as the drama enfolding the Crawley family and their household staff was, the events portrayed on the widescreen television were the furthest topic from my thoughts....

While we watched the remainder of the episode, I was aware of Esme moving about behind us, quietly sweeping the glass fragments into a dustpan and taking the shattered photo frame away, ostensibly to replace it. The almost indiscernible tinkling of glass against tile as Esme swept brought Edward back to mind...although he had never been far from it in the first place.

What was with him? I would think that he hated me, except that since I had come to live with the Cullens, I sensed an odd awkwardness about him that made me think that he was extremely aware of me; it was the oddest feeling, but it was very strong and I felt it, too. The few times he had accompanied Alice and Jasper in my room, he had been silent and withdrawn, stealing prolonged glances at me from beneath his absurdly long eyelashes.

And I was forced to admit to myself that I was always uncomfortably aware of him, too; my natural shyness morphed into awkward, embarrassing blushes, and I was more tongue-tied around him than normal. Forcing out a semi-coherent sentence in his presence was next to impossible.

It was truly annoying, if it weren't so utterly embarrassing. And from Alice's and Esme's knowing smiles and Carlisle's worried frowns, I knew that they were well-aware of the unspoken but extremely magnetic tension between Edward and myself.

How could I feel so much toward a person I didn't even know? Had I ever spoken to him directly? I combed my memory, but I could not think of one time that I had spoken to him. But then, my memory was terribly unreliable since the accident....

Yet there were secrets lurking here—hugely important ones, I thought. After all that I had experienced with the Blacks, I felt uneasy about there being secrets here among the Cullens, especially if this living arrangement became permanent.

And I knew also that I needed to talk to someone. Mrs. Jane had come to visit me twice in the week since I've been with the Cullens, and she was trying to persuade me to see a shrink friend of hers. But I didn't think I'd do well baring my heart to a complete stranger at this point. Or ever....

I knew with whom I would talk; I would approach Carlisle soon. I needed to know what was going on here, and he was the only one whom I really knew and trusted.

Something cold touched my shoulder, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Bella?” Alice questioned. “Are you all right?” Her beautiful face was all concern, so I forced an unconvincing smile.

“I'm fine. Just tired,” I replied, not meeting her penetrating gaze.

“You seemed a million miles away,” she remarked, her eyes searching my face anxiously.

“No, not quite a million,” I answered absently. My mind was much closer than that, focused once again on a pair of shimmering golden eyes beneath a shock of unruly reddish-brown hair.