A Life Like This

Chapter 25

EE's POV

I wake up lying on the empty bed that just a few ours ago, the most amazing person in the world, took her own life on. Why couldn't I stop her? Why? I just wanted her to be okay, I thought she could do it. I am so sorry baby. God, I am so sorry.
At that moment I lost my sanity. I flopped off the bed, and onto the floor. Still covered in her blood. I lay my face into the side of the matress and interlock my fingers behind my head. Sitting on my knees, I don't just cry, I weep. I let everything out. I scream. Then, for the first time in a long time, I prayed. prayed that she was safe, and maybe somehow I could save her.
I pray for really long time, I'm not exactly sure how long. Minutes, hours, I don't recall. Eventually I passed out from crying so hard in my prayer. Iwanted anything to see my girl again. I fucked up so badly. None of this would have happened if I could have just admitted everything to her. I could have taken her away from this. She could've been okay one day if I would have actually tried to save her. Now it's all over. My girl is gone, all because of me.

2 MONTHS LATER

"Everyday drags on, and everyday I find myself sitting here at your grave. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Fuck. I can't stop missing you babygirl. I've tried talking to shrinks, and I've tried hiding. I have tried literally, everything. I want to stop missing you. I want to forget you were here, because missing you makes me want to leave to see you again. But I know you wouldn't have wanted that. You did this because of me. You wouldn't have wanted me to follow you. I wish I had your gift to see the dead, maybe I could see you. I think I feel you sometimes. laying in bed next to me. Or a few times I thought I heard you singing in the shower. I don't know if that's really my ability, or if I'm still just grieving." Laying in the grass next to the muddy mound of dirt on her grave, I blink to get the tears out of my eyes, they roll down my cheeks, across my ears and into the grass. I close my eyes and just imagine. What could I do to see her again.
"I Love you Pen. I wanted more than anything to have a futute with you. You the most beautiful, smart, amazing, talented, kind, and eccentric person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I want you so bad baby. Come home. Please."
I continue to lay in the grass crying. I've completely given up on everything. I dropped out of school, can't get a job, I hardly change cloths anymore, and I don't even know what to do. The only thing I do is shave. I shave my face. Pen HATED facial hair. I wouldn't want to dissapoint her.

DECEMBER

"And yet again, I find myself back at your grave. I got a job. IceCream Machine repairman. I'm always busy. I'm glad I've had something to keep my mind off you. Although I still find myslef wondering back to you. The job makes the day go by a little bit easier. I don't cry as often. If you could see me now baby."
The moon is out its a beautiful december night, I think back to the first christmas Pen and I spent together. I still wear the ankle bracelet she gave me that year. We laughed so hard because my mom made fun of her for giving me a summer gift in the winter. I just hugged her. I knew exactly what the bracelet meant. When Pen was little, the first time her parents made her do drugs they tied her left ankle to the bed post for three days. It left a scar, so she always wore an ankle bracelet so no one could see the scar. She gave me the bracelet so could match. My baby.
I find myself crying. Again, and again, and again. Remembering more memories. Every little detail.
I close my eyes and almost doze off in the cold weather. The wind picks up and I open my eyes, just enough so to see so I could get up and go home. It was already dark out.
"EE!"
My eyes snap open! That was most definately her voice. "Penny!"
"I'm Okay"
"PENNY! Where are You!?"
The wind kept picking up. I couldn't see anything. I could only faintly make out her voice, God I missed that voice.
"Penny, stay where you are, I'm gonna come find you!"
"I'm right here" her voice is almost a whisper but I can feel her breath on my neck. I can't see her, but I can here and feel her.
I close my eyes, and I feel her arms tighten around me and her head lays on my chest. I attempt to hold her, but it's next to impossible. She lets go and then the impossoble becomes reality. I can see her. Her figure is so faint. Almost completely transparent.
Shes talking to me, but I can only make out bits of what she's saying.
"-between- - veil- -waiting-"
She is stuck between the veil of life and death because of her gift. now instead of seeing and hearing the dead, she sees the living. she's transmitting herself across plains into this world to see me. The veil is thinned on full moons. My baby. so strong. I'll save you. I don't know how, but I WILL be with her again. My Babygirl. Between The Veil.