Through the Lens

Anton's

Harry's POV

I collapsed on the couch, sighing loudly as I laid back and closed my eyes. Cash was finally down for his nap and I was exhausted from the adventure of a day we'd had. My schedule for the past six years had been grueling, but somehow running around after a three year old all day had tired me out more than touring ever had.

After breakfast, we'd said goodbye to Hailey and headed to the lake for a bit. It was a nice day, it was only mid-June so the kids were still in school and most people were working during the day, so we practically had the place to ourselves. We'd stopped on the way to grab some water toys, which mostly meant I'd spent most of the time catching Cash as he jumped off the air mattress we'd picked up. His ninja turtle water wings matched the new shorts we'd gotten him, since Kelsey hadn't sent any swim trunks with him when she dropped his stuff off in a hurry.

After the lake, we headed to the diner for burgers and fries before we took our new football to the park and ran around for an hour taking turns scoring goals. Once he tired of that, we came home and went for a walk in the woods before we walked back into town for ice cream. He had been personally offended when I told him I'd never tried tigger ice cream and demanded that I get some.

"You have to have tigger, it's the best kind!" He scolded me. "Even Auntie says so."

I honored his request, despite the fact that I didn't think I'd like it, and was pleasantly surprised to find how good it was. When he'd told me it was black licorice and orange I wasn't too excited about it, knowing I'd always hated black licorice, but somehow it worked. Cash had smiled in victory at me when I told him it was good, and I found myself wondering where I could buy a tub to keep in the freezer. It was 3pm by the time we got back to the house, and he'd gone down for his nap shortly after. Of course, only after I agreed that we would build his new lego set once he got up.

I chuckled to myself as I recounted his negotiations, his adorable little face looking up at me as he made me promise. Kelsey had called and apologized for the hundredth time for leaving Cash with me, and I reassured her again that he was fine and I enjoyed having him. Ryan was getting out of the hospital and they were still trying to settle everything with the shop, so she had enough on her plate and I didn't want her to have to worry. Cash and I had a good day, I'd taken Hailey's GoPro and hopefully gotten some good shots, but I'd had to wait until she got home so she could download them for me. The thought of her put a smile on my face, like it had been doing all day, and I sighed deeply.

I'd been distracted all day thinking about her, worrying that she might still be upset about the shop and hating the idea of it. I'd been up all night worrying about it, wishing there was something I could do, but mostly trying to make sense of the intense feelings that were overwhelming me. I knew I cared about Hailey, but seeing her like that absolutely broke my heart. It physically hurt me, and I knew all of the things I'd been fighting against were happening anyways and I couldn't control them.

I'd tried to convey to her this morning after breakfast just how much she meant to me, to try to tell her just how much it affected me to see her like that, but I didn't have the words. I'd basically just repeated what I'd told her the night before, but I didn't know how else to say it. I couldn't make sense of my own feelings, so how was I going to explain them to someone else? I'd never felt the way I felt about Hailey about anyone, and I didn't know if it was just because I felt so close to her that she was the closest friend I'd ever had, or if it was more than that. I did love her, I knew that, but at that point I wasn't sure what kind of love it was. I'd never been in love before, so I couldn't compare it to anything, and what I felt for her was different than what I felt for my other friends that were girls. It was so confusing, and it was doing a number on my brain.