Through the Lens

Sleep Tight

Hailey's POV

My mind was still racing from the amount of information I'd received in the past hour. My emotions were all over the place, I was angry and frustrated that anyone could portray Harry as anything other than the amazing person he was. I was sad that he'd had to go through so much, to be constantly hounded and judged with his every move being analyzed and picked apart. I wanted to protect him, to keep him there with me so he would never have to go back to that life. I wanted to go on worldwide television and tell everyone how wrong they were about him, but as I sat there looking at him the only thing I could think to do was try to comfort him.

He was right. We did need each other. I had no idea what I would have done if Harry hadn't been there for me when the fire happened, when I'd been so worried about my brother and feeling like I'd lost my father all over again. He'd been there for me after my run-in with Brad, helping me change the way I'd looked at something that had haunted me for years. Harry understood me. We understood each other, and as scary as it was to let myself believe, I did need him.

"I think you're right. I think out of all the places you could have disappeared to, some random small town in Canada seems like a bit of a fluke." I softly chuckled, doing my best to snap myself out of the bad mood watching all those videos had put me in.

Harry took my hand, softly running his thumb over my knuckles as he brought his other hand up to cup the side of my face. The way he was looking at me was different, there was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite read, but whatever it was suddenly made me feel nervous.

"I've never regretted kissing you, Bear. Not for a second. In fact, it was one of the best moments I've ever had." He said softly.

I didn't know what to say. I'd spent so much time thinking that he regretted it, that I needed to shove my feelings down for him and just focus on our friendship, that I didn't want to let myself believe it.

"What is this, Harry? Why are you really telling me all of this?" I asked, not sure whether I really wanted the answer or not.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope that knowing all those things about my life helps you understand a little more of why I tried to keep you at a distance. I never wanted to, I've been drawn to you since the first time I saw you. I feel so connected to you, Hails. In so many ways I'm not sure if I even understand them all. All I know is that I have never felt shittier in my entire life than I did that night, knowing you were crying because of me. Fighting with you has been killing me, and no matter how hard I've tried to pretend that we're just friends...I just can't do it anymore."

"What are you saying?" I asked, swallowing hard.

"I don't know exactly what I'm saying, and I think that's the point. I've spent way too much time thinking about it, about what's gonna happen, what the right thing to do is, scared that one of us is gonna end up hurt and doing everything I can think of to prevent that. The harder I try to prevent it, the more hurt it causes. I just need to stop thinking."

My heart was pounding as he continued to speak, my brain racing just as fast as I tried to figure out just exactly where he was going with this. I didn't wanna let myself believe he was implying that he wanted to be with me, I knew I couldn't take that kind of rejection again.

"There's a million things that I don't know. I have no idea what my career, my album, my life looks like anymore, and there is literally not a single thing that I know for sure when it comes to any of it. But the one thing I do know, that I'm sure of, is the way I feel when I'm with you. You make me feel alive, like all the other bullshit doesn't matter because as long as we're together things make sense. It's like you excite me and calm me at the same time, you feel like adventure and home in some weird paradox that I can't begin to understand. I know that I'm leaving at the end of the summer, and I know that makes things complicated, but maybe we should stop focusing on that and just see what happens."