Through the Lens

Almost There

Harry's POV

I sat on the bed, rubbing my face with my hands as I pictured the endless stream of paparazzi outside the restaurant, snapping pictures through the window as we tried to have dinner, everyone staring and having their meals interrupted. It was everything I didn't want, but Hailey knew damn well she was making me feel guilty if I didn't go.

It was strange to me, to care that much, when I'd finally gotten to a place where being in the spotlight didn't bother me as much. It took me seven years to accept it as part of my job, a lot of the time not even noticing as I got used to the people following me and the cameras in my face. Spending so much time in LA over the years it was just part of daily life, and I'd learned to not even let it phase me. I didn't even blink at magazine articles or the latest news story of me hooking up with some model, because I knew what was and wasn't true. I'd finally reached the point that I was okay with it, and there I was thrown back into being that scared kid who worried that I'd lose the girl I liked because she'd believe something they wrote about me.

I'd spent countless hours apologizing to so many people for their privacy being invaded, holding my mother and sister as they cried about hurtful things that had been said. I'd learned to have a thick skin for myself, but seeing the people I loved upset over things that were my fault was something I'd never get used to. We'd all had to adapt, create new ways to maintain our privacy by using social media less and being careful who we shared information with, and for the most part we'd been pretty lucky at gaining back a small amount of privacy. The idea of Hailey going through it, of it starting all over again, was something that immediately upset me.

I heard the bathroom door open after a few minutes, and I didn't bother to look up when I heard Hailey sigh. A few seconds later, I felt her hand on my knee as she crouched down in front of me, looking up at me sympathetically as she brushed my hair out of my face.

"Harry, I don't wanna fight with you. I appreciate you trying to look out for me, I don't wanna sound like I don't. I can't imagine what it's like to be you, to live with that, but you can't hide from them. You can't let them win like that." She said softly.

"I don't hide from them. I'm not hiding, I'm trying to hide you." I sighed.

"When you're in LA and it's your friends birthday, do you just hide in your house? Do you hide them away so they don't have dinner with you?"

"No, but that's different." I said simply.

"Why?"

"Because they're not you."

She sighed as she rested her chin on my knee, gazing up at me as I ran my fingers through her hair. I knew she was right, I knew that if I wanted her in my life eventually she'd have to be exposed to it, I just hated the idea of it at all. I wanted to stay in our bubble forever, and it just wasn't possible.

"People in LA expect it, it's part of that lifestyle. I know it seems like I'm being insane...I just don't know how to explain it." I sighed, accepting that she was way too stubborn to listen to me and I didn't have the will to fight about it anymore.

"Well neither one of us reads any of it, babe. We'll all go for dinner, they can take their pictures and write their stories, and tomorrow morning we'll wake up and we'll still be us and nothing will be any different."

"You promise you'll say something if it's too much? And we should check with Ryan and Kels...it's a lot for the kids when I could just stay home."

"I promise. I'll have you there to hold my hand, right?" She smiled softly, looking up at me with those big blue eyes.

"Well...I don't know if that's the smartest thing...but in theory yes." I laughed lightly.