Through the Lens

Disconnected

Harry's POV

The drive to the airport was the most emotional, confusing forty minutes of my life.

I wanted to turn around, to go running back to Hailey and refuse to let her push me away. For the first time in my life I was willing to fight for a relationship, to put it all on the line and do whatever it took, to give it all up for her if she wanted me to. I'd put my heart and soul on the line and finally confessed my feelings for her, only to be met with the sting of rejection and a level of pain I didn't know I could feel.

At the same time, I wanted to run. I wanted to speed toward the plane and get on it, to take me as far away from there as possible. I wanted to be as far away from the cause of that pain as I could be, far from the memories that were so clearly etched into my heart that I knew would never fade. She didn't want me, she didn't love me like I loved her, and the gut wrenching pain of knowing that was more heartbreaking than anything I'd ever experienced.

Deep down I knew she was pushing me away because she thought it was best for me. I knew she was scared and didn't wanna get hurt, but that didn't numb the sting of it. I could plead with her to let me in all I wanted, but ultimately if she didn't wanna be with me, if she didn't wanna try, there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was pray that maybe me being gone would make her realize how good we are together, how special what we have is, and maybe she'd change her mind.

I meant what I said, that I wasn't gonna do what I always do. I wasn't just gonna get on a plane and bail when shit got complicated, Hailey meant way too much to me to do that. I told myself she just needed some time, that my crazy life was the opposite of hers and that maybe she just needed time to wrap her mind around it. Maybe she just didn't understand my world, and that we could really make it work if we tried.

My hands were shaking as I gripped the wheel tighter in an effort to steady them, bile threatening to escape my throat as my stomach churned and made me feel nauseous. It wasn't how I wanted to leave, to end whatever it was on a negative note, and I knew I was the one who had broken our deal. Still, telling her I loved her and having her not say it back splintered my heart into a million pieces and it felt like they were slowly travelling through my body and piercing other parts of me.

I hadn't even realised I was crying until I pulled up to the airport and looked in the rear view mirror. I'd been so out of it, my mind spinning that I guess my emotions had just taken over. I quickly did my best to pull myself together, wiping my eyes with my sleeve before I got out of the car and greeted the pilot. He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, but didn't say anything about it, before I grabbed my bags and headed onto the plane.

I took one final breath of that crisp mountain air, remembering the day I'd first stepped off that plane and done the same thing, before my entire life changed. I tried to remember who I was when I'd arrived, considering he felt like a stranger to me now. I took one more look around, coming to terms with the fact that the time really had come to leave, letting the soft breeze hit my face as I closed my eyes tightly.

A single tear escaped my eye as I stood there, taking a few more seconds to breathe in the fresh hair.

"Goodbye, Hails." I whispered, almost wishing that the wind would carry it to wherever she was so she'd hear me.

With one more deep breath I turned and got on the plane, throwing my bag on the seat next to me as I stared out the window, trying to take in the green of the mountains before I went back to the beaches and palm trees. I put my seat belt on for take off, leaning my head back against the seat as I closed my eyes tightly and tried to ignore the aching pain in my chest. I think part of me was hoping she'd show up, that she'd realize she was being stubborn and come after me, but deep down I knew she wouldn't.