Through the Lens

Ready

Hailey's POV

My stomach was absolutely churning as I held Cash's little hand walking into the airport, doing my best to keep down the bile that felt like it was rising in the back of my throat. I'd promised myself I would face the day with a positive outlook, to not let my nerves get the best of me and to get through it without completely melting down.

I checked in with the airline, got my boarding pass, and everyone walked me to the security gate where the time finally came to say goodbye. I turned to face Ryan, Kelsey, Sam, Cash and Soph as they all looked at me nervously, knowing none of us were ready for this moment. I'd stopped on the way to say goodbye to Gram, which absolutely tore my heart out, but seeing how happy she was to see me go made me feel like I had to do it for her if nothing else. I'd promised her I'd send as many pictures as I could and call her whenever possible, and she was absolutely overjoyed that I was really doing it. I'd shed a few tears when I said goodbye, but her bright smile and encouraging words had made it much easier than I thought.

"Alright, well I guess I'll go first." Ryan sighed as he pulled me into him and hugged me tightly, kissing my head as he pulled away. "You take care of yourself, bug. I love you."

"I will. I love you too." I promised, my eyes pooling with tears but I was able to keep them back.

He looked at me, shooting me a soft smile, before he took Soph from Kels and she came over to hug me.

"So proud of you, Hails." She sighed. "This is so exciting, just try to enjoy it. Okay?"

I nodded as I hugged her one more time, telling her I loved her before she pulled away and I reached down to pick up Cash. I couldn't hold back the tears as I looked at him, and his little hand reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Don't be sad, Auntie. You're gonna help the animals." He said softly.

"I know, buddy. I'm just gonna miss you so much." I said, trying to keep myself together as I leaned over and kissed his head. "I love you very, very much. You know that right?"

"I know, I love you too." He said before he wrapped his little hands around my neck and I squeezed him tightly before I put him down and crouched down in front of him.

"You be good, okay? You listen to your Mom and Dad and you take care of Soph." I sniffled as I reached up and wiped my cheeks.

"I will, I promise." He said, his little voice quaking as he spoke. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too, buddy." I said as I hugged him one more time, taking a deep breath as I pulled away and kissed his head before I stood up and Ryan picked him up.

I turned to look at Sam, who softly pulled me over to the side and hugged me before she took my hands in hers and looked at me seriously.

"You can do this, Hails. You can tell him." She said.

I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath before I nodded.

"You're right. I can do this. I'm gonna tell him I'm in love with him. I'm gonna ask him if he's willing to wait for me to get home so we can be together. I'm gonna tell him I wanna be with him." I said, trying to sound stronger than I felt. "I'm not gonna run away."

"And then you're gonna say goodbye to him, get on that plane and go kick global warming's ass." She chuckled.

"That's not exactly how this works, but okay." I laughed before a silence settled over us.

"I love you, Hails. You're the strongest person I know, you'll be just fine."

"I love you too." I said as she hugged me one last time before I turned to look at everyone standing in front of me, trying to hold back the tears as I took in their faces for the last time.