Why can't I be with him?

When?

I have gotten use to living with Tyrece and also sleeping with him. His family is so warm and living. Plus, sleeping with him makes me feel secure and safe from all of the outside world.

Since I am going to be living with them, I will have to attend the boys school as well considering his family can't afford the school I went to before. It's okay though, I understand they don't have much in the bank. I have always wondered what Tyrece's school looked like anyway.

Before I attend they had to ask the principal if I could attend since it was an all black school, luckily they said yes. I was given the remaining weeks to heal and today I had my casts removed.

Right now, Tyrece and I are in bed cuddling and talking about school tomorrow.

"The one teacher you need to watch out for is Miss Widow. She will give the switch to anyone who miss behaves or gives any type of sass." He said. He was informing on certain people in the school.

"Also, Cindy Crawford. She has had a crush on me since the seventh grade. She doesn't believe me when I say I have a girlfriend, especially no white girl like yourself." He said with a small smile on his face.

"Are you saying some girl been hittin' on my boyfriend?" I said with an eyebrow raised feigning seriousness.

"Oh yeah, all the time. In classes and between classes, even during lunch too." He said full on grinning now.

"Sounds like we have a problem, but we will handle that at school." I said pecking him on the lips.

He kissed me again only this time longer. He hates small kisses. Every time I do that he goes back in for a longer miss.

We made out for a long time. Tyrece had started to get on top of me, and move one of his hands lower until it rested on my hip. I wrapped my arms lightly around his neck.

We were moving slowly and taking our time with each other. Then, Tyrece lowered his body on top of mine. He looked at me to see if he was hurting or not.

When he saw that I wasn't he rested himself there, and after a few minutes  started to grind on me just a little. It didn't get to be too much at that point, but then he started to lift my legs around his waist, and grind deeper than before.

I knew we should stop before we do anything we regret...or just didn't plan. I don't  know if I would regret it...

"Tyrece, e need to stop, right now." I said trying to lightly push him away.

He wasn't for it.

He lightly grabbed my wrists and put them down to the mattress. He started to kiss and lightly suck on my neck. One spot he got to made me softly moan.

"Tyrece, stop." I said. Even though I was verbally opposing, physically I didn't want it to end.

"Why?" He said backing away a little to look at my face.

"You know exactly why we need to stop." I said sighing. This isn't the first time we almost did something. Whenever we were alone together it came up.

"We don't need to stop, you just want to stop. I don't know why, but you do." He said looking slightly frustrated while fully pulling away from me.

"It's not that I don't want to myself, but Tyrece a lot of things can happen if we do that. Plus, we don't have any type of protection at all." I pushed myself up into a sitting position next to him and wrap my arms around his neck.

He turns a little and hugs me back, sighing deeply.

"I'm sorry. It's just.......it is so frustrating not being able to do anything with you in that way. I mean kissing is great and everything, but I just want to do more." He confessed pressing his forehead to mine.

I smiled at him and tightened my arms around him. I pulled us both down to the bed and layed my head on his chest.

"Maybe some day, we will do that." I said trying to cheer him up.

"When?" Tyrece said sounding much calmer than before.

Tyrece, we can't just rush into this. We have to be careful about this, this would be both of our first time. You are my first boyfriend ever. I am barely used to being in a relationship........just give me some time, please?" I said looking deep into his caramel eyes.

"Of course, Evie. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm pressuring you into having sex with me. I kinda realize how impatient I'm being about all of this and now I feel bad. You shouldn't have to feel pressured because I want to do something. I get it that you're not ready for that yet." He said cuddling me from behind, snuggling his face into my hair.

"Its okay, Tyrece. I don't feel pressured  as much as I do nervous. I want to do it when I feel confident enough to." I respond pushing myself into his chest.

"I understand. Good night, Evie."

"Good night, Tyrece, and thank you."

With that we fell asleep. It felt nice to be in his arms. Also, after that talk. We needed it very much to be honest.

On the other hand, when will I be ready?