Why can't I be with him?

I'm ready......

Today was the day I was gonna tell Tyrece some big news. It's been about a month sinve we had that talk now, and I was finally ready to take the next step. I would explain to him that I wanted to take the process slow though. You know like first figure out when we will have a chance (I don't want his family to catch us!). Second, but the protection. Third, make sure we actually both want this.

Before I decided that I wanted to do this, i went to Ruby's house for a sleepover and talked about it. She had slept with many boys in our school. I know your probably thinking about her right now, but her sleeping with people doesn't matter. It didn't change her at all like my old pastor said it would and she was smart about it.

I went and talked to her and I left out the part about it being Tyrece I wanted to have sex with because then she wouldn't help me. Ruby have lots of advice on what was probably gonna happen and how to expect it to feel. I told her it was both our first time and she said there will probably a lot of mistakes but then you'll both get the hang of it.

I repeated everything in my head while I was returning home. Tyrece's mother was waiting for me at the door. She treats me as if I am her daughter, I can understand why. She has lived with three boys for a long time. Now, There is finally another girl in the house, it must feel nice for her.

"How was the sleepover?" She asked walking us to the couch, so we can talk.

"It was great! We stayed up late talking and snuck to the kitchen to get snacks!" I said with a small giggle.

" Sounds like you had an amazing time!" She said with a chuckle.

"Yes I did! I even brought back some pastries we took too." I said pulling out the small container full of deliciousness.

"Ooh! Those look good! Can I have one?" She said never taking her eyes off the pastries.

"Of course that's why I told you! But don't tell the boys this is just for us." I said lowering my voice to a whisper.

"My lips are shut!" She said whispering as well.

After that we just say on the couch eating pastries and talking about anything. She is a real easy person to talk to. I could never do this with my mother at all.

I should stop thinking about them because last time I checked they abandoned me when I was hurt. Just 'cause I love a black man.

As soon as I finished that thought the boys came in from the fields. We don't go out, Tyrece' s mom and I , because we are too short. The crops in the greenhouse are very tall, even if I tool for I can't reach the top, and they also break if you tug on them. The boys are much taller, so we will help during the summer when the smaller plants come in.

"What's for dinner ladies?" They all said together.

Mrs. Sirloin and I looked at each other and then burst out laughing. Thinking the same thing. How many times did they practice that before they came in?

When we finally stopped we headed to the kitchen to have dinner. Tonight we had fried chicken with butter biscuits, green beans, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious!

After everyone went to their rooms. It was finally time for me to tell Tyrece that I'm ready. I didn't think I could ever be so nervous in my entire life. I mean I know he wants this too, but it's just nerve-wracking talking about it, you know?

We both change in the room facing away from each other and then get in bed. We start to cuddle when I decide to break the silence.

"Tyrece, can we talk?" I say with my head on his chest.

" Of course, baby." I love it when he calls me that. I don't know why though.

I look up to him and then he puts his forehead on mine. He was looking straight into my eyes and it made me scared so I just blurted something random.

"I love you!" I said making my eyes big which made him laugh a little.

"I love you too!" He copied widening his eyes as well. I smiled and give him a small kiss that he automatically makes deeper. It felt nice and somewhat calmed my nerves.

"So what did you really wanna tell me?" He said after pulling away a little.

" I think I'm ready." I said wrapping my arms around his neck but not looking him in the eyes.

" For what?" He said lifting my chin up and had a hopeful glint his eye.

"That thing we talked about a while ago." I said playing with my fingers behind his head.

"sex?" He said after moving his face into my neck.

"Yes." I said feeling sure of myself.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked looking me in the eyes now.

"Yes I am." I answered. I knew this was something I wanted.

After that he put his head back in the crook of my neck and began to leave small kisses. It felt nice. He moved from my neck to my jaw and then to my lips. He put himself between my legs when he was at my jaw. He started to grind on me and I just realized that he thought I meant right here and right now.

I tried to tell him that I did t mean to today, but everything he was doing felt so good!

When he started to tug on my panties is when I came to my senses.

"Tyrece........ I didn't mean right now. Not with your family around, and we don't even have protection." I said breathing somewhat heavy.

"Yes we do." He said breathing a little heavy as well.

"What?" I said shocked by his response.

" We have protection. I went and got some a couple days after that talk we had." He says reaching over to his nightstand. He opens the drawer and pulls out a small box full of condoms.

"See?" He says when puts on the bed.

"Oh." I say. So much for doing this together....

" What's wrong?" He says looking very confused.

"I just thought we would do these things together, you know? Like getting the condoms together and figuring out when together, but I guess you already did those things your self."

" I didn't know you wanted to do that..." He said looking somewhat disappointed in himself.

"Its okay." I said even though it kinda made me felt left out in all this.

"We can still plan when." He said trying to cheer me up, and it worked.

"Okay!" I said with a small smile on my face.

So for a couple hours we stayed up planning when we would take the next step in our relationship. We made sure to take in every factor there was while planning. After we came up for the perfect day and time we cuddled up to each other and went to sleep.

I don't think anything can this feeling I have right now......

_____________________________

Hello my lovelies!

It is your author here saying sorry I was gone for a while. I had a small case of writers block. Plus, it was hard writing about something I, myself, haven't experienced yet. So I went and read some thing from other stories, you know doing research. I came up with needing scene on my own but the next chapter will have the part I needed to learn about. To be honest I most likely won't go into much detail, but there will be a little bit of details. On the other hand, Thank you guys! We are almost to 2k readers, if not at 2k readers. I didn't bother to check before I wrote this chapter. Lastly, I need a new last name for Tyrece's family I can't keep calling them a type of meat. It makes it hard to stay serious when writing. See you guys soon with another chapter!

Sincerely,
           Author❤