Why can't I be with him?

The New Plan

My revised plan suits what I want.

Last night I had a moment of realization while I was asleep.

Being with Tyrece has completely changed how I was before. I can't blame him though because I wanted to be with him. I used to be so independent and able to hold my own, you know? Then I meet Tyrece and I just start to lean on him and his family for everything.

That needs to end today.

Today I left.

I woke up early that morning. I packed all my things and the few things the baby had gotten from Tyrece's parents and then took all the money the woman gave me.  All of Tyrece's money is still there. I got on a carriage and went a town over.

I don't have anywhere to go, but I'll figure it out. I have enough to stay in a hotel for about a week. During that week, I will go job searching. there aren't many jobs that don't revolve around housework for me so I guess I just need to find someone looking.

-_______________________________________________________________________________-

Its been a couple days since I got here. I found a job and I made a new friend. One that doesn't care that I am having a mixed child. We moved in together into one of the bigger rooms. it has two bedrooms. one room is going to be the babies and we share the other. Her name is Ella. She is a "whore" meaning she does most of her work at night. I don't judge her though. She has a daughter and the father isn't in the picture so she did what she had to so she could provide for her. Mina is six years old and is beautiful. She has the most vibrant green eyes and nice slightly tanned skin. Mina's father was a Spanish man.

When we first met Ella saw me struggling to get a room. The manager was trying to get me to do something for him just for a room I had money for.

*Flashback*

We are finally at the hotel. I have been walking for hours now and my ankles are twice their original size. I walk fast over to the counter before a couple can and start to ask for a room. I notice the man making a certain face at me. It made me uncomfortable.

"Hello sir, can I have a room? One bed, please."

The man started to chuckle as I began to pull out the money in my pocket.

"No charge if you do me a favor."

"what do you mean?"

I thought he meant like cleaning something. I was honestly willing to save money on the room if it just meant cleaning something.

"I am quite lonely these days...it looks like you are too. *moves closer and whispers* I won't be rough because of the baby. I wouldn't want to hurt it."

when he finished he leaned back and smiled at me.

I tried to back up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. In a second he let go of me and held his face. A woman pulled me behind her gently and faced him.

"Bitch, don't get involved in this."

"No, I will get involved, you leave this girl alone."

She looked so strong. Her head was held high and she seemed unfazed by the man's words. the man gave her a nasty look, but said nothing. The woman turned to me and smiled gently.

"let's go to my room, okay? Just so you can rest and calm down."

*Flashback Over*

After that, we got to know each other and became friends.

Ella thinks I should go back to Tyrece and tell him how I feel. I have thought about it and I think she is right. When I think about it I was being a bit irrational when I did this, but... I can't it didn't make me feel good to do it. I feel independent and strong. When I was with Tyrece I felt happy and everything, but being here and doing all of this on my own I felt this surge of strength and power.

Ella is my inspiration. She tells me how being alone has been hard for her. she also tells me how good it feels to be able to say that she raised such a beautiful and smart girl all by herself.

Ella is truly powerful in my eyes. I honestly look up to her more than my own mother and sometimes even more than Tyrece's mom. she has been hurt and bruised, inside and out, yet she keeps moving. It's amazing. I feel if I go back to Tyrece I'm gonna lose this amazing feeling.

When I was with Tyrece , I was happy, I wont lie, but I alsofelt like he made all the decisions. I didn't contribute anything, he kept saying I shouldn't. It felt as though I was just there.

I don't want to feel like that again. Ever.

I know if I go back I'm gonna be weak around him and whatever I want to do just won't happen because I'm not strong, but here I am.

-____________________________________________________________________________-

It has been a couple of weeks now.

I'm headed back to Tyrece.

Ella and I had a long talk about what I was worrying about. she told me that relationships weren't something that weakens you it makes you so much stronger than you think.at first it feels like you are a just apart of some weird machine, but then you'll figure out that is just you adjusting to being a pair.

The carriage dropped me off right in front of the house. I had gotten out and was walking and then I was up in the air in someone's arms. finally, they pulled me close. I looked up to see Tyrece. He was crying.

"I missed you."

That's when I realized...

Ella was right.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Hello My Lovelies,

It has been a very long time but I hope this almost 1,000 word chapter makes up for it. I was planning this emotional rollercoaster of a chapter FOR A WHILE. Don't judge I tried to make this good and emotional for you all, okay? I wanted Tyrece and Evie to take abreak from each other. I want their relationship to have many hardships to overcome before this book is over and that is not when the baby is born. I feel like some people are thinking the end is going to be baby born then happily ever after. No. It is not. Also, I want to know if you guys want a chapter on what Tyrece was doing while Evie was away for her little journey. How do you feel about that?

Sincerely,

         Author <3

P.S. I did this on the computer because I'm fancy now (: (;