Two Player Game

~Chapter Thirteen~

Later that night, Jared's skyping Jeremy and Michael.

"So what happened?? Your soft boy is okay right??

"Yeah, he's fine... I think. He has so many bruises from top to bottom. Then if you couldn't tell, I took a punch from hot topic today and he broke my glasses..."

Jeremy snickers. "Damn.."

"God Damn, dude, you've gotta kick his ass now." 

"I want to trust me. I've already tried just arguing"

"Was the tree hugger there to witness? How did that go down?"

"He's so broken. He clearly broke his heart and he just took him home with him to "Talk""

"Ooh... That's not good. What are you gonna do if it gets worse?"

"Probably actually kick his ass" Jeremy replied.

"Actually... I don't know."

"Well you gotta do something. It sounds like Evan is in too deep. He's not getting it. Here's what I would do. Say... I don't know, Jeremy was in an abusive relationship and refused to see it. I'd confront the other person when he wasn't around so they couldn't hide behind his good-naturedness and soft voice. Michael snickers a little.

"Well I'm sure if it's not a girl, you probably wouldn't win anyway. No offense but you're sorta the soft one."

"You watch your mouth, player two, I'll kick your ass. Besides, the only person you've had a thing for since seventh grade is Christine Canigula and I could totally take her."

"Okay but you wouldn't. She's too small and precious. Like, why would you want to hit her?"

"This is a hypothetical, Jeremy, a world where you actually get Christine, but she beats the fuck outta you and you don't leave her. It's a sad world. Also, about being the soft one: I'm thicc, child. at least I'm not angular and bony." 

"......fine."

"Okay but Connor is with Evan every single second of the day. How do I get him alone?"

".... Okay, you're probably not going to like my answer, but bear with me: Go to his house."

"Michael-!"

"Listen, what you do is skip band one day after school and go home on the bus. You get off with Connor and tell Evan to go home, you kick his ass when the bus is gone."

"...You gotta say that's a good plan."

"Maybe, but you clearly don't know Connor and Evan."

"Dude, we live in Jersey. I saw a picture of Evan once and everything I know about Connor is from what you tell me. Clearly I don't know them. But it's worth a shot. Maybe he wants to kick your ass just as bad."

"Oh I know he does."

"So do that then. Fuck him up. Go for his knees, it takes tall people down." Jeremy gives him a look.

"Please don't ever threaten me in front of me."

"Oh come on, I gotta know something about what to do if you get indebted in the zombie apocalypse, Jer."

"Nah, I wouldn't. I'm too good to get taken down from some stupid ass zombies."

"Sure man, whatever you say." Jeremy chuckles.

"Well... I guess I'll try it then. But I expect you guys to be at my funeral."

"Bro, don't worry. I'll plan the damn thing. Jeremy will get his best black dress on for the occasion."