Two Player Game

~Chapter Fifty-Three~

Months and months after, Evan returns to his dorm from being out with friends. He's giggly and drunk and he's so happy when he sees Jared is calling him. Cheeks flushed with alcohol, he answers, grinning like an idiot.

"Jared!"

"Fuckin' finally! Goddamn Evan, I've been calling you for the past hour!"

"You have?" he looks confused. "I haven't been home."

"And you haven't had your phone you too then." He pulls it out and presses the power button a few times.

"It's uh, it's dead. I've been out for a long while, baby -"

"Do you know how long I've been trying to get ahold of you? Do you know when the last time we talked was???"

"It was... It was last week, right?"

"TWO MONTHS AGO EVAN. Two months!!!!"

"Two mon- I-I don't understand, I could've sworn -"

"Evan, you're ignoring me! Neglecting me! And who knows what you're doing that makes you not pick up to your boyfriend!"

He's so confused. Being wasted isn't helping. "Jared, I don't understand - I haven't been ignoring you, and- who knows what I'm doing? I'm getting an education, actually enjoying life for once?"

"It doesn't hurt to call or even pick up once in awhile. Even for a Five Minutes."

"What if I don't have five minutes?? What if I think I'll be cutting into your time, calling during your classes, or something??"

"I gave you my schedule! And I don't have a lot of classes! I have full free days over the weekend, Wednesdays and Tuesday's!"

"I have classes every day! I have work every day but Sunday, I've got school work piling up, I-I'm busy! I've got... We're in finals season, I've got things I have to do, Jared!" He's starting to get choked up.

"And what do you mean who knows what I'm doing?? I'm- I'm having a life for the first time in all my twenty years! And Jared, you're so far away! I don't have the capacity to be both places, physically or mentally! I've - I've made friends, gotten a job, I'm trying to get my license finally, I cannot give you my undivided attention because there are so many things I've got to focus on! You know I can't focus on too much, Jared, you know it overwhelms me, and when it gets too much I just - I just -!" He's full on crying now. His head is pounding, he's dizzy, and he's so upset. He doesn't know what brought this all on.

"Jared - baby -" Jared feels neglected. All he wants is a simple hi. Something that says he still loves him.

"I don't know what you want from me."

"I just want something to know you still love me. Something- ANYTHING."

"Of course I do, Jared! Of course I do, more than anyone! And I can't believe you don't think I do!"

"I want to. But I can't believe myself."

"Then believe me! Listen to me, Jared Kleinman, I am so sick of - of pleasing other people! This is the first time in my life I've been pleasing myself and now it's wrong??" he wipes his eyes roughly. "I'm not going to - fUcK, Jared! I love you, but you've become such a small aspect of my life!" Jared's eyes start to water. It doesn't have to be anything big. He wasn't asking for a lot at all. Evan's panicking. He's blowing things out of proportion. He's not breathing right and he's doing exactly what he does every time.

"Jared, I love you, and I'm so hurt that you don't trust me, and I just - I can't - I didn't -"

"Evan breath." He's mad but concerned. "Just breath."