Konoha's New Number One....Baby?!

Tsuchi

"Who...?" Naruto started but cut off when a silhouette stood by the door frame, Naruto gasped audibly. "Tsuchikana?!"
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SLAM!

The man backpeddaled a few paces.

"So, you decided to come back?"

Naruto's tone was deceptively calm, his smile disarming and playfully coy. And yet the usage of  chakra covering Keyori's body as he set her down for her evening nap belied his peaceful intention.

"I wanted to see you and I thought that borrowing keyor-"

The blond ninja raised a hand.

"Leave..."

Tsuchikana sputtered in his drawling husk, holding up his hands as he stepped forward.
"Hey, hey, Hey, at least let me expla-"

"Not you imbecile!" Uzumaki barked, he turned and crooked a finger at the wall. "I meant him, the special jounin."

When no one moved Naruto leapt forward, bringing a kunai into the wall, head level if someone were to be standing there.

"You have five seconds to get your sorry excuse for a shinobi out of my office before I tear you a shiny new arse hole!" The room went a deathly kind of still. "Now!"

The blond was shoved aside and in an unseen flutter of clothes the door opened and slammmed shut; foot steps pattering down the hall in rapid succession.

He turned, sheathing the metal into the folds of beige clothing, walking past the dumb struck man in ever greens and salmon reds, to stand beside the carrier that held his pride and joy; brushing the thickening mop of hair away from her slack face, listening to her heavy breathing with something akin to a smile on his feminine features.

°Explain°

Tsuchikana recognized the heavy slur to be the tongued accent of his mother land and switched accordingly.

°I did this to see you.°

A bland stare met the bold declaration.

°So° his eyes flashed boysenberry once more. °You got this notion into your thick skull to target my baby, my pride and joy by the way, to lure me away from Suna for what? A chance of redemption? Forgiveness? Friendship? Love and instant submission?°

Naruto sat down and rocked the carrier when a distressed whine erupted forth out of sheer reflex, fixing Tsuchikana with a crushing gaze of doleful veiled agony and brimming tears.

°I-° he began but was once again was cut off.

°No Tsuchi listen to me here for a minute. I went without her for three months, Keyori is now a  year and a month old, a full year. I have no pictures, no memories, no recollection of spending as much money as I could on her for that milestone. You promptly flounced your sorry excuse for a man all the way here to Suna to talk to me but instead thought that stealing my baby was a smart idea and thus put me in anguish for the next three months without so much as a feeling spared!°

Slap!

Tsuchikana staggered back, feeling Naruto's cool hand reach up to cup it as he placed a fleeting peck on the red surface.

°I must have lost my mind° he muttered, slapping Tsuchikana just as hard on the other side of his face, placing a peck there to soothe the flaring pain as he shoved the traitorous bastard into a seat.

A cry escaped Naruto, an animalistic growl of struggling submission and warring dominance as tears slipped from behind thick lashes to stain his clothes as he slumped against a wall.

°I have offically lost my sanity° he laughed, tugging at his hair as the slight shoulders of his body shook with the pain of remembering; hilarity of how his mind rejected the comfort yet his body craved the loving touch he received so long ago.

°Because there should be no reason why I still love a piece of scum such as you.° The amount of venom that leaked out of that one word tugged at Tsuchikana's heart strings in a painful way.

He stood, walking toward Naruto despite the scathing remarks and hate filled curses and gathered his body into his arms, feeling the sting of having blunt nails scraping across his body work into a screeching inferno as salty tears fed into the open wounds.

°Naruto° he tried, ignoring the fists that assaulted his chest when he didn't let go.

°No!° Uzumaki screamed, taking hold of Tsuchi's tight grip and prying away what he could; a hopeless sort of destitution blossoming in the pit of his stomach when the arms only encircled him more, tears blinding his already cloudy vision and choking him soundly.

°I don't want you, let me go you dirty cheating scum bag!°

°I won't !° Tsuchikana hollered, sinking his teeth into the skin where neck met shoulder and watched as the energy left Naruto's body. °Not until I explain.°

The blond chuckled, revulsion pounding a stacatto of beating fists as a sticky heat settled over his mind and kickstarted a headache. °Explain what exactly? Of how you cheated? How I caught your lying arse shagging my best friend into the sheets of our apartment? Of how after everything that's happened in my life I choose to run away from you like a coward on the night of our third wedding anniversary husband!°

Tsuchikana winced and that was all it took. Naruto elbowed himself out of the imprisioning embrace, leaping to a stand and dashing to the other side of the room, fingering the teeth socketed skin that weeped blood at his desk.

°EXPLAIN THEN!° He screeched, tearing through four octaves as he scrabbled for balance against the scrubbed wood of his desk.

°PROVE ME WRONG! TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW! GROW A SPINE AND SIT HERE TO TRY AND JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS! I DARE YOU!°