One Day Love Will Be True: A Niam Love Story

Hello Again: Liam

I maybe slept about 3 hours. Every time I went to sleep all I could see was his face and apparently even that was too painful for my mind. When I close my eyes all I see is that golden hair, his beautiful eyes, and that wonderful smile. I can’t take my mind off him and it makes me terrified for the future. If he doesn’t take me back how am I possibly going to get over this?

I text him.

I want to see you. I know we have the interview, but I want to be with you in private. Please see me Niall.

I open up my laptop, I might not be able to see him in person, but there must be a million videos of him online. I open up youtube and type Niall Horan. There’s so much response I don’t know where to start. I watch a couple of interviews first, his laugh is absolutely adorable. There are apparently videos of just Niall laughing and I can’t help but laugh at them. He’s so magnificent. How have I been missing this all this time?

I keep checking my phone. Every time a video ends I peer down and hope to see that little flashing light and a text from him. It hasn’t happened yet, but it might have been a long night, he probably is still asleep. My mind hasn’t stopped running in circles. I need him. I need him so much I can’t handle it.

I was staring at the screen and all of sudden I hear something

“Liam? LIAM!” screams Louis from my door

“What!? Oh, sorry. What’s going on mate?”

Louis looks at me with sadness in his eyes. I know he understands why Niall is doing what he’s doing, but he also feels bad for me.

“You need to eat mate. You haven’t eaten since before our conversation yesterday. I can’t let you die on us now. They give you all the opening solos on the songs. No one wants that job.”

“I’m fine Lou, I promise. I’ll come down in a little.”

I see Louis frown, but he still walks out of my room. I feel bad for the guys. I don’t think I’ve seen, or have spent time with, any of them for more than two minutes recently. I can’t convince myself to talk to the guys. All the time I’ve spent with them have been with Niall, we all have our insiders. Moments when Harry acts like an ass and Niall and I look into each other’s eyes and bust out laughing. Just for us there were moments like this all the time. The way we laughed when Louis and Harry were being a little too open and we didn’t know. Everything reminds me of him. He has become such an important part of my life, everything reminds me of him.

“LIAM THE FOOD IS DONE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!”

I guess I should probably go down, it’s the least I could do for the lads. They would support me if I decided to talk to them and they made breakfast for me. I get off the bed and realize I look and smell like hell when I pass the mirror. Whatever, Louis wants me down there and I don’t need someone else mad at me.

I walk down the stairs and I feel like fucking Cinderella as all the lads turn around turn to watch me come down. All I see is pity, I wish I had the self-respect to care, but I don’t. I really really don’t.

“Come here Liam” says Harry in his adorable apron. He looks happy. I’m glad he and Louis are happy together. I realize I haven’t moved and everyone is staring at me awkwardly. Harry is actually looking a little hurt. I realize he wants to give me a hug so I walk over and yet the younger one comfort me. I try really hard no to cry, but when he lets go there’s a tear dripping down my face.

“Thank you. It’s been a rough couple of days mate. I’ll have myself together for the interview though, I promise”

Harry frowns and looks at me with pity in his eyes, “Liam, we’re not worried about the interview, we’re worried about you. We want you to be ok. We don’t care if you clean up well for the interview, we want you to return to your old self. I don’t know how we’ve avoided setting the house on fire. You’ve clocked out. We love you, we need you. Niall loves you as a friend even if there’s nothing romantic going on. He’s going to come around. He just needs time to get over you. We’re here for you. Please don’t forget that”

“I know guys, I know.” Now I feel a little guilty. I might have lost Niall but I have 3 other best mates that have been here the whole time. I can’t pretend that everyone else doesn’t exist. It’s not fair to them.

“Seriously lads, I do know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve slacked I’m sorry that I’ve not be here for you. I think I’m going to go shower and come back down. I should probably clean up whether or not we have an interview.”

Louis smiles and then says “Not so fast! Food! Then shower!”

I smile for the first time in the past 48 hours sit down and start eating breakfast. I am actually really hungry. I didn’t realize how much I’ve been putting myself through. I’m about to pick up some of my juice to drink it when I hear someone running up the stairs. I look at the lads and no one seems to know what’s going on. I look down at my phone and realize I have a text from Niall

Fine Liam, I’m listening What do you want?

 I realize that this is probably Niall and sprint to the door. I’m trying to catch my breath before I swing it open. I stop, take a breath and open the door. Niall looks at me shocked as he puts his hand down.

“Hi Liam”

I can’t move. I’m frozen. I just have to stop and take all of him in. It’s only been two days and I don’t know how to handle seeing him. I’ve missed him so much. I just want to touch him.

“Hi Niall”

I can’t help it I move in and bring him into a hug. I know he was about to move past me and I couldn’t let him. I couldn’t let him pass without feeling him. I’ve missed him so much I don’t really know how to handle it. Then he looks up at my face and I can see that he’s unsure of everything going on. I have to do it. I have to feel his lips again.

I can’t control it and I feel him tense up. He puts his hands on my chest and I think that he’s going to push off, but instead he warms up and starts to move in. I put my arms around his waist and pull him closer. I hear a plate fall into the sink, but I can’t stop. I’ve missed him. I miss him so much. I don’t want to pull apart. I don’t want to see the hate or the regret in his eyes. However, I know I should let him have his space. I just needed to be selfish. I needed to do that for me.

I pull back and look into his face. Those soft lips are red and swollen from the kisses and his eyes are wide and I can’t tell if he’s angry or if he wants to talk. I know I need to give him space, so I step back.

“I’m not sorry for that. I could never be sorry for that. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to be with you. I’ve needed to touch you. I need you. I also know I need a shower though, so if you want to talk, I’ll be upstairs. I’ve missed you. I love you and I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done.”

I turn around and walk away. I don’t look back because I know that I’d just want to run back and pull him into my arms again. I get up the stairs and into my room. I grab my towel and hop into the shower. I’ve always made fun of the whole crying in the shower thing, but I totally get it. I don’t feel as weak as if I was crying on my bed. It’s like I can still deny it some, even though I really can’t.  I really really can’t.

I hear the bedroom door open and I hear Niall say softly “Liam, you ok? You’ve been gone a while”

I can’t respond. I’m just stuck sitting on the bottom of the shower frozen again. Frozen in the fear that he’s come up here just to tell me he’s leaving again.