To Have Loved

Chapter 5

Zach

I know I should probably run after her....but my feet wouldn't move. Just now I've seen how much damage I have done. I've broken her. The worst part is I dont even know what I did, so theres no where to start. Im lost. It's as if I've fallen in this dark pitch....searching...but theres no where to go, and no where to start.

What happened that day I asked myself. She told me she needed to be alone, and I never heard from her again.

Theres a knock at my door.

"hey babe, ready for the movies?"

She's beautiful. 

"Change of plans. I have another idea. Lets have a picnick on the beach. Just you......me....the stars...." I move towards her as I speak. I grabb her waist and lightly kiss her lips. "a light dinner...." another kiss.."and chocolate covered strawberries" I watch as her eyes light up. I know her so well. she blossoms under romance.

"You always change the pl-" I kiss her before she can finish. Im falling hard for ths girl.

"Hey Zach, you might wanna come down here!" a voice yells from outside my door. Justin.

I was still on my knees from where abby left me doing what I do best....remember...I always ponder on the past. The good times.

"Why wassup" I yell as I get up and head towards the door. I open the door and I see Justin barely able to pay attention to me. "whats up?" I ask again,

"They're fighting down there man.....come quick before they destroy you're house."

"Wait....who's fighting?" I ask.....

"Abby and--"
I'm already downstairs at the mention of her name.

What!!

When I get downstairs all I see is a big crowd surrounding, what I'm guessing is the fight. I push my way through not caring who gets shoved and see Abby on top or Rita nearly choking her to death. Her eyes have tears in them, there's blood all over her shirt, hands and one side of her face. Rita is all fucked up.

I run over and pull Abigail off of Rita. Much to her struggling, I put her over my shoulder and head back upstairs with her. I let her down and....

SMACK!! She slaps the taste out of my mouth.
" what the hell!"
"I hate you so much. Next time try keeping your property in check...you--" she stops and starts crying again.

"What's wrong with you  Abby-- "

"Nothing." She lies. Then she start looking for something. She goes by the window and picks up something on the floor.

Her phone.

"What happened down there?" I ask.

"I came to get my phone and your bitch attacked me" she said much calmer.

But why?

There's a knock on my door. Then it slowly opens.

"Abby are you in here." It's Bri. She slowly walks in and behind her is justin.

"I'm so sorry Abby. It's--"

"You didn't do anything Bri. Let's just get trout of here...There's nothing to be sorry--"

"Yes there is. It's my fault she attacked you. I tempted her. I ...I kinda got in an altercation with her and kinda spite her by saying Zach prefers you and that she's nothing but a used up trick who opens her legs for any--"

"Stop. Talking." I start to run my temples. Why would she lie to her like that. Of course the crazy bitch would go all Madusa-hulk on my ass when she seen me. The girl is hopelessly in love. That can have each other.

I glare at Zach. He's the cause of any and all emotions I go through....pain....anger...sadness...hurt..

"There was no reason to lie to her....I'm leaving...." with that I run out.

"Ab wait!" I hear Bri call after me. She's following me.

When I reach outside I stop. I wait for her to catch up to me and turn surrounding a little harshly. I can see the fear on her eyes. I have a tendency to let my anger take a hold of me. I quickly calm down knowing I shouldn't be upset with her. She is a really good friend to me....

"Look Bri...I love you like a sister. I'm fine. Just go back in there with justin. I'll be fine. I just need some--"

"You're mad at Zach and you shouldn't--"

"Zach is not worth my energy!" I scream a little too loudly. Making it easy to see through my facade. He is worth my all. But I refuse to fall down that abyss of feelings again....alone.

Bri seemed to have calmed down a whole lot. A little too much for my liking.  "Prove it." She simply states.

"Prove it?" I ask. Where is she headed with this.

"Yes. If you claim to not be affected by anything 'zach'....then...." She stops to think.

"Then what? Go to a movie with him? Marry him? Date him again?" I say sarcastically as roll my eyes.

"Yes. Not now. And yes. " she says with a smile on her face. I've seen that smile. It's when she is planning something crucial.

"You must have lost your fuckin mind!" I tell.

"Think about it." She starts. "Youll be near him more, making you becoming immune to his presence in time...and eventually unaffected by him altogether. Also he'll stop thinking he still has you wrapped around his arrogant little fingers..and best of all....it'll be the best revenge to get back at that bitch Sarita."

I was dumbfounded. I was actually listening and processing this nonsense....and worse yet....actually considering it. Life is filled with three things...lessons, regrets, and miracles. But in this situation....this could only be a lesson of a lifetime....or something I'll regret for a lifetime to come......But....

"I'll do it.....on my terms and pace" I Tate as I walk away with regrets already swarming in my head.

You're doing it to get your life back, I tell myself. He can have control over your emotions anymore. He can't have control over you. And to top it off  that sarita hoe won't know what hit her...you'll be killing to birds with one stone.

"I love you more than life itself. Be mine forever?"

"Of course I'm yours silly. You couldn't get rid of me even if you tried. I love you too Zach. Thanks for being here. I don't know how I would make it through this if I didn't have you" I quietly sob on his shoulders.

My grandma from my mom's side just had a heart attack. My mom went on a drinking rampage. My dad is trying to soothe her....My brother went back to college to forget family like he always do ..and I'm left alone. Always alone.

"Babe please don't cry. You know I can't take it. I'll always be here when you need me. I'll never leave you alone.."

Lies. All lies. I think as tears roll down my cheeks. I'm always crying now days. I hate everything.

I get in my car and head home. How am I going toto convince Zach that I still love him..and convince myself that it's not true. Ugh....My brain hurts.

I get home and head straight to sleep.

PLEASE COMMENT AND TELL ME HOW IM DOING. I DONT WANT TO CONTINUE IF ITS NOT ANY GOOD.