Wherever you are (Michael Clifford)

Michael and hannah

I find myself doing this a lot.

Running, giving myself serious stitches and being out of breath just for Michael, and too often it's In the rain.

Drops of water from my hair fall on to my bare and I feel then run all the way down until they touch the fabric of my clothing.

I'v stopped running now and I'm just walking. Everything has physically and emotionally drained me.

I'm done with trying to be happy all the time because look where that got me? Jake tried to send me back to the place I used to be.

I truly know that I can't live without Michael, and that's something that I'm admitting, and going to have to come to terms with.

I don't like the thought of depending on a boy so much but it happened, I warned myself at the start and now I know there's no way I can get myself out of it.

No matter what happens with Michael and I, I will always love him, he is like a drug.

My memories with him will always stay with me, I don't know if he feels the same way, for all I know I could just be another girl, but a small part of me knows that's not true.

We are different to other couples, not much public affection is shown between us apart from holding hands or whatever, but no one knows us. No one knows how we feel about each other and because we don't tell everyone our business, they take our love for granted.

I wouldn't have it any other way with him.

When I finally get to the front of Michael's house, I sigh in relief.

I'm drenched completely, Like I'v jumped in a pool with my clothes on.

My knees weaken and I fall slightly, lack of sleep, lack of food and lack of the outside world has stunned me.

I cuss at myself and slowly get up and drag my way to Michael's door.

I knock as loud as i can and he immediately opens it.

"I'v been worrying about you Hannah."

The world cling to me and make me feel safe. Michael makes me feel safe and I'v needed this. I need him.

I collapse into his arms and cry. Michael doesn't ask me what's wrong, he just carries me to his room and waits. Waits until I'm ready to speak.

All of my tears are gone, so I heavily breathe.

"I don't know what to do with you Hannah."

He fixes my hair behind my ears and kisses my temple lightly.

"I have broken you, look at the mess I have put you in."

He rocks me back and forward.

"Your so fragile."

He still thinks I don't know it's not real.

"Michael, I know it's not real."

He freezes instantly and positions my body so that I am straddling him.

"You do?"

He looks deeply into my eyes, looking for a sign of hate or anger but I only show love for him, it's all I have.

He nods and brings me Into his embrace, hugging me tightly, pushing our bodies as close together as they can be.

I do the same, needing as much of him as I can get.

"Never let me go please." I whisper, I knew he wouldn't hear but I needed to say it.

Michael takes my face in his hands.

"I don't plan on." He whispers.