K I N G

t w e n t y - o n e

"If you are chronically down, it is a lifelong fight to keep from sinking." - Elizabeth Wurtzel

Todd's POV
Todd drummed his fingers nervously against his thigh. What had Charlie been thinking? Who was he trying to show off to? His eyes narrowed on Mr. Nolan's office door as if he believed the wood would melt the harder he glared. Worry gnawed at his very core about Charlie. About what would happen to the Dead Poet's Society. It was not knowing that killed him the most. In his mind, anything was possible.

    Neil nudged Todd with his elbow, a small grin on his face. Todd knew he was trying to lighten his mood but Neil's attempts were in vain. Nothing was going to shake this dread off but Charlie himself saying everything was going to be alright.

    "You need to stop being a worrywart," Neil commented out of the corner of his mouth.

    Todd mock glared at Neil, knowing that his friend had not yet given up trying to cheer him up. "If there's anything I'm good at, it's worrying."

    "Or moping!"

    Neil laughed and dodged Todd's fist. "Hey! That's not very nice. If anyone is a brooder here, it's you."

    Neil gasped dramatically and placed a hand over his heart, as if wounded by Todd's words. The blonde could not help but laugh.

    "Perhaps I can make up for it?" Neil asked suggestively causing Todd to redden and glance around to see if anyone had heard him.

    No one had.

    Before Todd could respond, Meeks started to complain.

    "I can't believe he would pull a stunt like this! I mean Charlie can be a little dense sometimes, but this was downright moronic!"

"He just couldn't help himself," Cameron joined in. "He never learns when to stop."

    "This isn't helping," Todd bit out, feeling bristled that they were talking of Charlie this way. "So he did something stupid, it isn't the first time and it certainly won't be the last time. Yapping about it won't fix the problem."

    Knox raised his eyebrows in surprise at Todd's little speech. Todd couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself. Rarely did he stand up for himself and make his opinions known. He quite liked the feeling.

    "Then what--" Cameron started to say when Mr. Nolan's door swung open and Charlie walked out.

    Gone was his sly smirks and mirth, Charlie stood stiff and solemn. The sight caused Todd's heart to jump into his throat. He's seen Charlie serious before, but never had he looked this beaten down. They all held their breaths as Mr. Nolan's beetle-like eyes sweep over them before he slithered back into his office. No one moved until they were sure he wouldn't be coming back out. It wasn't until they felt safe back in their dorm when they all began to asked Charlie questions.

    "You kicked out?" Neil asked as they all trailed after the limping boy.

    "No."

    "So what happened?"

    "I'm gonna to turn everyone in, apologize to the school and all will be forgiven."

    The others gaped at Charlie, wordless. Todd felt his blood freeze over. He knew Charlie would never turn them in, but he couldn't turn off that nagging voice saying he would. Saying how he would safe himself by throwing them all under the bus.

    Shut up! Todd berated himself.  This was Charlie he was talking about. He would have their backs.

    "So, what are you gonna do?" Neil asked frantically, his voice rising a few octaves. "Charlie!?"

    "Damnit Perry! The name's Nuwanda."

    Charlie smiled coldly before slamming the door. They all stood in shock before they started to disperse, all but Todd and Neil. Todd took in Neil's stiff posture. HIs jaw was locked and his fist were curled up into tight balls. Todd grasped Neil's hand into his own and pulled the silent brunet into their room. Todd flicked the lock closed before he could forget.

Gently running his fingers through Neil's hair, Todd laid a small kiss on his forehead and asked, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or should I read your mind instead?"

Neil snorted before winding his arms tightly around Todd's middle and burying his face
into the blonde's stomach.

    "I'm worried," Neil said after a tense moment of silence.

    "About what?"

    "Charlie. The Society. Us. It's all swirling around in my brain. I feel like I can't breath. I'm so worried about it all. That they'll take it away from me. Take you away."

    "You're worried they'll take away your freedom," Todd said softly, placing his cheek on top of Neil's head.

    "Yes," Neil whispered softly, as he were afraid the word would break him.

    "You always have a choice. I know it doesn't look like it, but I have to remind myself that there's always a choice."

    Neil hummed in response, nuzzling his nose into Todd's stomach.

    "You should go check on Charlie?"

    "Me? Why?"

    Neil pulled back and shook his head like Todd had said the funniest thing he'd heard all day. "You guys are close. Charlie likes closing himself off, but I think that's so he won't feel hurt that no one does check on him."

    Todd watched Neil closely, he was hesitant to leave Neil yet he did want to check on his friend.

    "It's okay Todd. I'll be okay."

    "If you're sure, but come get me if you need me."

    Todd leaned down to press his lips to Neil's before squeezing his arms reassuringly and walking across the hall to check on Charlie.

    Todd only hoped Neil was truly okay with being alone. He couldn't shake the feeling Neil was sinking once again.

And that thought terrified Todd deeply.