K I N G

t h r e e

"The deepest pain I've ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable." - Nicole Lyons

Todd's POV
Todd was sure his face would be permanently stained red because of Charlie Dalton. As soon as the others were gone he chucked the magazines, if you could call them that, underneath his bed and desperately tried to forget the images of the women inside them. Todd rubbed his eyes tiredly as his day caught up with him. He had to not only suffer through a family dinner in a couple of days, but he and Neil were still fighting. Todd felt his annoyance spike as he thought about their argument. Neil didn't understand. Todd's business was his business and no one else's.

I'll share what I want to, Todd thought angrily, even as he knew Neil had shared a lot about his own life with him.

Neil's father wanted him to get into one of those Ivy League schools and then move on to medical school, which would be a wonderful and terribly ambitious thing if Neil had wanted that for himself. Neil was much too free-spirited to become some stuffy doctor. Neil spoke to Todd passionately in the dead of night about his interest in the arts. Theatre exactly. Neil talked about auditioning for a Shakespeare play being put on at the local theatre, and Todd really had no doubts that he'd get a park. Then there was the stories of Violet, his seven-year old sister. How they played make-believe together, and how Neil often was the one who took care of Violet when she was sick because his parents were too busy rubbing elbows with the elites of the town. Yes, Todd knew a lot about Neil's homelife, and he also knew he was behaving unfairly by denying Neil some information about his own. They were roommates! Best friends even! Yet Todd couldn't bring himself to talk to Neil about the dark shadow his brother cast over him or how his parents ignored him.

It's because I'm ashamed.

Todd didn't want Neil knowing because he didn't want his pity. Todd didn't want to look into Neil's bright eyes and see them dull with concern. Todd groaned softly as he flopped into his bed and hid under the covers as the reality hit him. He didn't want Neil to worry about him. It'd be useless anyway. There was nothing he could do to help Todd so he decided the best route was not to tell Neil. It was stupid he knew, but Todd was too stubborn to give in. Besides, he was genuinely angry that Neil had the gall to pressure him into talking about it when he obviously didn't wish to.

Todd squeezed his eyes tightly as he felt another headache coming on. Too tired to care anymore, Todd lulled himself into a deep sleep where all his dreams were empty.

They hadn't spoken for the remainder of the week. Todd ignored Neil, and Neil returned the favor. Todd knew the others felt the tension between them. Cameron had tried to play the mediator, but Todd refused and escaped into the library, which is where he spent most of his days now. Then Saturday came, and Todd began to snap at everyone. He was right anxious about tonight. Of course he also knew it was unfair of him to act so childish once again, yet he couldn't bring himself to stop it. He felt too sick about the family dinner tonight, and he had  even weighed his options about ditching it all together, but he knew that was impossible since Mr. Keating would be the one taking him to his house.

Silently, Todd dressed as Neil sat in his bed reading. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as Todd felt Neil's eyes following him. Todd felt his stomach clench for some odd reason because Neil's eyes never left him. Finally irritated with his starring, Todd spoke up.

"Is there something you wanted?"

Neil didn't answer and Todd didn't press. Whatever was bugging Neil was not his problem. However, Todd was forced to confront Neil when he suddenly stood up and invaded his personal space. Todd felt surprised by the obvious anger in Neil's stance and his darkened eyes. He couldn't recall ever seeing him so fed up with anything before.